Honesty with My Alcoholism

So, what’s it like being a stay at home dad? Drinking alone is no longer an issue.

Moving forward, in honor of the late great Bourdain, I plan on only drinking my cherished IPA’s and 3 sipper watermelon beers from afar. Away from my 3 kids, in some fancy big city bar.

At least then, I can feel like a married slut in a straight jacket. Who didn’t dress up for a date with himself at home whenever the wife starts her week shift at the hospital again.
The last time I had a bottle Kentucky bourbon in the house was 17 months ago after our baby Samuel was born. I savored every drop so there’s reason to mourn.
I learned after my 1st kid was born, how even a double tumbler of Angel’s Envy bourbon a night, can wreak havoc on your complexion. Like Hillary Hammer Time Cankles from boozing harder than ever after losing the election.
Was drinking 5 Captain Lawrence Pale Ale’s last Thursday night a big mistake? No, besides last week was skin cancer binge week. So I was more than consciousness of my lush driven intake.
Yes, I love porters, IPA’s and double Imperial Red’s. If I had to choose. I’d give up bread.
Now I’m father of 3. So, passing out on the couch is no longer an acceptable look. Only a six figure talk show radio job host in the big city would get me off that hook.
Wine after the 1st glass, even a Rose from Provence loses its soulful lift. Disintegrating into mere ordinary refill-age. Which feels like less of a gift.
The variety of American tropical brews has never been greater. And it’s summertime. So, it’s hard to break away from a 1st I’ve been smitten with for more than 20 years all together.
But if I’m going to dunk by the end of summer. I can’t drink beer one night and take off the next. Nothing would be dumber.
Take a month off from beer and see how you feel. When you dunk with added lightness in front of your kids with extra big deal zeal.


Michael Kornbluth


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