My Blameless Daughter on Yom Kippur

Daddy, why are we by the river with these bucket of rocks again?

All of these rocks represent daddy’s sins for the year.

Dada, do you have to use the words sins? It sounds too churchy for my taste.

Work with me kid.

Ok, so this 1st rock is for my sin of.

Weed, Daddy. Remember, your “Exit Interview From Weed” podcast episode? Shouldn’t you have an easier time remembering these things already?

Daddy, is throwing rock number 2 into the river for my sin of.

Inspiring Arthur to break his no cursing streak by saying what the f after he heard Kirby utter it on Arliss on HBO GO.

Rock number is 3 is for.
Heckling the TV too much when Beauty & the Beast is on after pounding one 2 many. I’m daddy. I’m so funny. You all suck, blah, blah, blah.

Rock number 4 is for.

Posting Grandparent Bad Manners on WordPress in the 1st place. Only to check after services how many more likes it got.

Rock number 5 is for.

Playing me Wu Tang 36 Chambers after my 1st Kung Fu class and shattering my age of innocence on the spot.

Daddy, stop using the word sin already. My guilt through association is killing me.

But the rocks represent my sins Matilda. I throw them into the river to be lost forever.

But I thought God had a photographic memory. Sounds like wishful thinking to me dada.

The End


Michael Kornbluth



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