Science of Fatherhood Not Working In My Dad’s Favor

Science of fatherhood not working in my dad’s favor:

Scientific studies prove distant, belittling fathers are more likely to produce sons prone to obesity, especially when mom doesn’t mix up her P&J lunch routine ever. Some hippie ma.

Science of fatherhood not working in my dad’s favor:

Scientific studies prove involved dads produce sons who suffer less psychological problems like turning into Mr. Defensive because Dad was always striving for his offensive best.

Science of fatherhood not working in my dad’s favor:

Scientific studies prove sons of involved dads are more popular in Pre-K. That explains why my son is picky whereas I only recall a stand alone play date with booger face. I bet he’s a 42 year old virgin. He smelled like puppy chow.

Science of fatherhood not working in my dad’s favor:
Scientific studies prove distant, belittling fathers produce sons more prone to sexual deviant behavior. So deciding to live in West Hollywood after college wasn’t in my best interests.

Finally, a scientific fact in my dad’s favor.
Men who drink before conception are more likely to have sons who abuse alcohol. I can’t blame that on my dad directly. My mom’s crazy hick gene from Kentucky rearing its ugly head again.

By,

Michael Kornbluth

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