Defending Masturbation

We all don’t get to wake up to Melania. Chances are, during our boom, boom release, our wives of 7 years aren’t the 1st ones who come to mind. Glen Beck looks like a metrosexual turd. I’ll give you that much.
I’m supposed to believe Harvard Law benefits society more than my splendid iso jerks? The students at Harvard Law banned Kavanaugh from teaching law there because he’s now branded as too aggressively prep schoolish.

 

Watching Private Parts with my kids. When Howard gets into the tub with Morgan Fairchild. And wavers over hopping into the tub with a porn star as a married man. My daughter yells do it. She was talking about me right? Is it my do it all dad year or not?

According to esteemed talk radio great Dr. Savage you either outgrow masturbation at 13 or you become a degenerate gambler. Or you were liberated by Andrew Dice Clay tapes as a kid and don’t feel like a total jerk off for doing it daily into your early forties.

Again, Talk Radio Hall of Fame great Dr. Savage insists you either outgrow masturbation at 13 or you become a degenerate gambler. Or you’ve lost a firm grip on what your Gen X audience listeners cherish most inside.

Masturbation is morally damaging. Blowing off your 3 grandchildren 355 days a year for more Whoopie on the View and Stormy Daniels money shot reveals on CNN and ABC is morally damaging.

In the era of Meto, males must masturbate. It’s our only safety rail left.

 

By,

Michael Kornbluth

 

 

 

 

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