Notes from My Beard Exit Interview

Daddy, your chin looks weird without a beard. I say. Normally, beards are camouflage concealers for multiple chins Matilda. Thank God I didn’t balloon from too much IPA intake during my 3-year beard run.

I look less shady slacker with my baby out in public during 9 to 5 working hours.
My worry wrinkles on my forehead do look more prominent. At least now, it doesn’t look like I’m hiding from my problems.
I’m getting checked out by gals more whole heartedly. Wife thinks I’m overthinking it. Beards are hot now. Mel Gibson would beg to differ.
I looked cooler with it. Better grow out more chosen curls again to regain some exterior rock and roll edge. My MATH SAT scores doesn’t mesh with my Investment banker trainee image one bit.
I feel like a poor man’s James Harden without my showboat veneer.

It was the best of stay at home comedian dad times. But I had to shave it to dress up as Stan Smith for our American Dad Halloween family uniform to make my resistor parents uncomfortable as humanly possible.

By,

Michael Kornbluth

 

 

 

 

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