My kids are superior company than most because mine are super funny off the cuff . Your kids aren’t. Do their lines get retweets? I didn’t think so. Thank you for fronting on their boring behalves.
The super busy, childless Uncles aren’t a welcome, drunken meet up alternative anymore.
I’m not letting my dad apply athlete limiting labels to my star studded offspring. My wife ran track in High School as opposed to the clunky foot mother I slogged out of.
My own mother suggested I become a garbage man because she views all Trump supporters as deplorable’s beneath her. Prove I’m slinging comedy gold for a living not yesterday’s fake news.
Caroline’s on Broadway can wait a bit longer. I’ve been given a taste of paradise and I never want to let it slip away.
Good parents make it their job to win their kids over. I could obviously coast at this point compared to my competition but the best is yet to come.
I’m way past the point of thinking a company of strangers half of my age will match the divine powered inspiration on the stay at home dad comedian front.
My wife thinks our 20 month old boy suffers from stranger anxiety around her mother. Her stupid, foreign Ukranian talk doesn’t do her any favors.
My fatherhood book the Stay At Home Comedian “Controlling My Kids Through Comedy” will sell huge and get me a lit agent. Resit this ma!
I don’t have a “career” or company reference waiting for me in Manhattan away from my creative home sanctuary and 3 kids in the 1st place.