God Gives Kids to Only The Lonely

God Gives Kids to Only the Lonely.
Have you seen the size of Leo’s pussy posse? It’s enormous.

God Gives Kids to Only The Lonely.
Turtle from Entourage never got stoned solo last time I checked. Or had issues talking #Knicks on MSG like a man with big time connects despite being a dead weight conversationalist in real life.

God Gives Kids to Only The Lonely

So you should be done complaining now Shelia.
Are you too good for divine intervention now on your behalf?

God gives kids to only the lonely.
Of course God is thinking. So what’s the problem again Sandra?
Your band wasn’t Arcade Fire in the making. But I’m sure your back shoulder tattoo will age well. Tattoos are a big no, no in my book, you know?

God gives kids to the only the lonely.

So they don’t have to apply for IT headhunting jobs again knowing stay at home comedian dads command way more respect. On top of the lowly salary barely covering the cost of daycare alone.

God gives kids to only the lonely.

Especially, when his Loan Officer mother at JP Morgan Chase denies his connection request on LinkedIn. Because she doesn’t care to be associated with her IT headhunter, loudmouth “artist”

God gives kids to only the lonely

Especially to 1st born sons who have distant dads whose shoulders collapse when you go in for an obligatory, annual hug on your birthday.
son.

God gives kids to only the lonely.
Again, help me out here Liz. You wanted a kid to love you more than your fake friends and c word mom ever did? God bemoans from a burning bush on Mars. Watching MMA with Aries the God of War on Satellite.

God gives kids to only the lonely.

So stop complaining about how lonely you are Sharon? Now you have 1 more lunch buddy than you did in high school. Who likes Madonna’s earlier work also cry baby girl.

God gives kids only to the lonely.

So what’s the problem Andrea? Breast feed your kid for 3 more years. Leaving enough of a grace period to find yourself attracted to your over the hill hipster husband again.

God gives kids to only the lonely.
So what are you bitching about now? God bemoans.
I know a Stay At Home Comedian Dad who doesn’t have a mommy meetup group for  emotional support. Organized and led by his RN nurse wife no less.

God gives kids to only the lonely.
But you’re so lonely because your stuck with your 1 kid all day when your husband has to commute, endure pointless meetings and become a permanent hunchback. Have you ever made a cold call ever?

God does give kids to only the lonely.
So stop bitching about how lonely you are ladies.
With your kids in front of you. Filling your home with emotionally present love.
Your husbands business meetings aren’t too riveting. Get over it.

God gives kids to only the lonely.

Especially, when your 3 kids don’t know where their 2 so busy childless uncles live actually. Facebook Face-Time would be beyond weird at this point and excessively insufficient.

God gives kids to only the lonely.

Especially, any woman married into the Kennedy family. Which is more curse than gift, obviously.

God gives kids to only the lonely.

So stop playing the repressed victim of lonely motherhood. Also, your parents help out 3 times a week. Mine live in permanent vacation in their Arizona estate shrine to themselves forevermore.

God gives kids to only the lonely.
So stop complaining about the isolating pain of motherhood.
God’s thinking. How about talking to your kid in front of you to make you feel less lonely for a change. Read your kid Art of the Deal. Do something.

God gives kids to only the lonely.

It’s a God given opportunity to mold an improved you. So stop bitching about how ungrateful your kid is. Get off your my life was so much better before. And be a better role model of pleasantness Franny.

 

God gives kids to only the lonely.
So stop whining over much you miss your producer career at CNN, Sharon. You can’t handle losing out on every night as date night for 3 months? Try 7 years and 3 kids in a row and get back to me.

God gives kid to only the lonely.
So stop bitching about how lonely you are ladies.
With your kids in front of you. Filling your home with emotionally present love.
Your husbands business meetings aren’t too riveting. Get over it.

God gives kids to only the lonely.

Or to the flaky, melodramatic diva. To make her realize how shitty it was to abandon her so called best friend after the birth of her daughter during her Postpartum blues.  But, what do I know? Only God knows why!

The End

By,

Michael Kornbluth

 

 

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