Children Are Better Than You

Children Are Better Than You
Because I don’t have to get stoned or drunk to make them more interesting, as opposed to you.

Children Are Better Than You
Because they don’t have a breakdown, if you say, “I’m surprised you didn’t levitate after you just farted on the stairwell.” Instead, they say, with relaxed, good humored glee back to daddy. “You monster.”

Children Are Better Than You
Because when the children laugh, it sounds like tingly love rather than your dumb, hyena cackle.

Children Are Better Than You
Because no dream is big enough for them. And they never try to trip up your MOJO with life accomplishment limiting labels such as learning disabled or too ambitious.

Children Are Better Than You
Because whenever I’m forced to hang out with you. I never think, I’m a poor unfortunate soul. Who misses out on the best of you.

Children are Better Than You
When you tell them about positive happenings in your writing career, they don’t turn into tone deaf mutes instantaneously, on cue every time.

Children Are Better Than You
Because you never inspire me to write poetry in your honor.

Children Are Better Than You
Because their eyes actively search for magical delight in all, rather than seek out imperfections to shred to pieces.

Children Are Better Than You
Because they’ll instruct you to pee standing up. Instead of calling you a homo for taking a 1, plopped down on the toilet if they’re in room with you at the time.

Children Are Better Than You
Because their love makes me feel like a winner inside and yours doesn’t ever.

Children Are Better Than You
Because they would never refuse to call on their kids birthday out of mean spirited, she male stay at home dad shaming spite alone.

Children Are Better Than You
Because they’d be the first call out your bare minimum grand-parenting as pathetic, if I really nudged the confession out of my children while comparing you to more active grandparents if I wanted to.

Children Are Better Than You
They do mini- musicals for me. All you do is yell at Alexa for playing the Grateful Dead over your precious Bob Dylan. Dylan asked to play in their band and the Dead refused for the record.

Children Are Better Than You
They push you to become the best version of you. Rather than normalize, apologize or enable your degenerate, lushy, druggy dependent destructive behavior.

Children Are Better Than You
Because when you say I’m sorry, they let it go. And don’t become a passive aggressive bitch for the remainder of their slighted, perpetual, panties in a bunch lives.

Children Are Better Than You
Because their idea of cooler talk isn’t despite those white supremacists in the White House, or he’s made our country so much worse. Wrong your, sour puss 2 year tantrum has.

Children Are Better Than You
They never take your emotionally present company for granted. Giving back ten times love back, for showing an interest in getting closer to them.

Children Are Better Than You
They instinctively know you’re a boring, bossy stiff before you do.

Children Are Better Than You
They look at the world with infinite wonder. You look at the Drudge Report to be enlightened. Apparently, Michael Savage does for every broadcast also.

Children Are Better Than You
Because when then say yum from your homemade hummus. They say it with pure, holy shit this is the best batch ever, keep up the good work, dada joy.

Children Are Better Than You
Because giving them shoulder rides makes you feel like the one on top of the world. With most adults crashing my happiness bubble around my kids at home. I just want to ruminate on how much I can’t stand their company on Twitter in comparison once their gone.

The End

By,

Michael Kornbluth

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