You want a conversation nobody is else is having Good Men Project? Fine, if preparing is caring. Why do I have to be called a sexist, for insisting I pack my handsome devil sons pre-poundage release forms for lunch in Junior High babe?
You want a conversation nobody is having Good Men Project? Well for starters, why is every Scary Mommy blog rip off even less funny than the last? I’m not saying woman aren’t funny but forget sleep, tired stabs at humor aren’t ever.
You want a conversation nobody is having Good Men Project? Why is Hillary Hammer Time Cankles still making any most admirable American list? Can we lock up this fake news, polling scam already? She’s less personable than Ann Coulter.
You want a conversation nobody is else is having Good Men Project? I don’t need to see Serena Williams on the cover of GQ for woman of the year. Also, didn’t she finally lose this year? Most dominant woman of the century I can rally behind.
Where was the Klan for 8 years when Obama was President? Under their sheets depressed I guess. Still, I don’t see alt right dudes in polo’s and Tiki torches making Schillinger in OZ shit all over his combat boots either.
You want a conversation nobody is having Good Men Project? Why wasn’t Lena Dunham voted most Admired American before Michelle Obama? Lena had a hit on show on HBO. Michelle hasn’t produced shit for Netflix yet.
Mayor Koch said: “It’s not good for one’s self-respect to be a punching bag.” So when your brother accuses me of being less Jewish than you during Christmas Eve babe. I’m not going to Shadowban myself on the spot.
Letting my Dad off the hook.
Sure, he didn’t play an active role in my pubescent, man molding development. Then again, I didn’t offer him much extracurricular activity to be with involved with on my behalf past Tecmo Bowl either.
Brilliant swinger of the year award idea without me coming off as a complete scumbag. I meet a soccer mom at the playground. I ask her. Want to start a footsie club with me? It’s the perfect petting cheating cover.
Explaining to soccer moms what I do at the playground. I communicate with spirits of famous dead American Dads on the Do The All Dad Year Podcast. Dark comedy dad entertainment for you and me. I need to get out of the house more. I know.
Me explaining what I do after my debut parenting book about being a stay at home dad comedian in the age of meto fake feminists makes me a household American name. Now, I host a family meal review show Crazy Good Dada on Youtube with my star powered 20 month old seed Chef Samuels. Because my daughter thinks we’re primed to make big bucks exploiting his excitable, all american gerber baby, looks for all their worth for our pescatarian diet promoting family at large.
Daddy, what’s an elitist? Defending Obama no matter what. Despite nuke gifting Iran, blaming Benghazi attacks on a Youtube video, illegally spying on Trump and Hillary emailing yoga class coupons to YourmamaObama@gmail.com.
When Lebron loses a close game in LA. I bet Obama copes by tearing through his secret stash of Almond Joys. Hidden behind a box of duct tape from Costco.
6 millions hits later, I learn 420 is Hitlers birthday. I haven’t felt this betrayed since Stallone snuck Mel Gibson into Expendables 3.
New Rule Bill Maher.
When your mom converts to Judaism because she’s a Godless Chameleon like Hillary. So what difference does it make? She loses all right to bitch about her Jewish son not calling her on Christmas Day.