My Husband, Not Interested Babe

Int. Winter Ball-Golf Club
Me
KP demanded a trade. The #Knicks had no choice. You always have a choice.
Liam Neeson’s choice of black directors to work with in the future, not so much.

The Knicks had no choice. George Soros said the same thing when he rounded up Jews door to door for the Gestapo.

The Knicks made no effort keep KP around. It’s like Tom Hanks dumping Daryl Hannah back in the Atlantic ocean because of his co-op board’s no mermaid policy.

Random  black dad laughs long time.

 

Int. Winter Ball-Golf Club
Me
This DJ is killing me. I want this DJ’s Spotify membership revoked permanently.
Stevie Wonder Black Out Drunk could spin a better set list than this guy. I wasn’t into Footloose in the eighties. Hair Metal is played on Classic Rock stations now. Is Lita Ford Kiss Me Deadly too much to ask?

Footloose, reminds me of a time I got into a fight at a Christmas Party because I said Caddy Shack 2 was funnier than the 1st. Girlfriend broke up with the guy who freaked out on me the next week. That’s called douche bag karma.

Random dad laughs long time.

 

Int. Winter Ball-Golf Club
Me
Since when did the Harlem Globetrotters become 40 minutes of crowd work? Plus, I can dunk a basketball off a trampoline despite my white man’s disease.

Another random black dad laughs long time.

 

My Husband, Not Interested Babe
“My husband” is a bigger turnoff, admission than my immovable blob, mother in law complaining how her supporter husband never takes her out for dates after we ask them to babysit our 3 kids once during Christmas break.

My Husband, Not Interested
“My Husband” is a bigger turnoff, unasked for, conversationally declared announcement than I think MAGA hats are equivalent to wearing black face. But Megyn Kelly was only showing her appreciation for old school Al Jolson Records.

My Husband, Not Interested
“My Husband” is a bigger forced, turnoff announcement than childless siblings who complain about having to bring home work with them because binge watching House of Cards made you such a better person.

My Husband, Not Interested
“My Husband” is a bigger forced, turnoff acknowledgement than a woman writer contributor on the Good Men Project bitching about not having enough female co-workers because she still doesn’t find IT nerds cute. Nice try Silicon Valley.

 

My Husband, Not Interested
“My Husband” is said by women who feel the sudden need to prop up their meh partner in love in the presence of a younger sexier stud because you come off as a friskier married slut in a straight jacket than the rest.

My Husband, Not Interested
“My Husband” is mentioned by women whenever they think you’re hitting on them or when they feel sexually overwhelmed by your smoldering, Furio from the Soprano’s presence. Despite you lacking his tough guy credentials.

My Husband, Not Interested Babe
“My husband” is a bigger turnoff, admission than I like Lebron James now. Because he’s less alpha dogish since admitting he doesn’t care about chasing the Ghost of MJ knowing it’s no longer happening.

My Husband, Not Interested
“My Husband” is a bigger turnoff, unasked for, conversationally declared announcement than I only watch CNN for the financial news. Yeah, I and I only watch Real Time with Bill Maher for my Bible Study Group.

 

My Husband, Not Interested Babe
“My husband” is a bigger unasked for, turnoff admission than I used to be a speech writer for Reagan but still think a yokel from California was ever any match for Trump’s gift of gab and biting sense of humor.

My Husband, Not Interested
“My Husband” is a bigger forced, turnoff announcement than I’m in Cannes despite not working in the biz as a creative heartthrob of any kind. You wannabe player, interlopers are adorable.

My Husband, Not Interested
“My Husband” is a bigger forced, turnoff announcement than I’m vacationing in South Beach this winter. Good, better catch an STD or the vacation is a bust in my book. Hope you did plenty of planks to fit in.

 

The End

By,

Michael Kornbluth

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s