Give Nuke Peace Talks A Chance

Trump
Will you concede, nukes or not, you’re never starved for attention?
Kim
I miss Dennis.
Trump
Give up your nukes, will lift the travel ban & you’ll be Jet Skiing with your favorite bad boy, in no time.

Kim

I’m still mad at Seth Rogan.
Twitter isn’t rooting for our President to fail. Why else would the hashtag #GiveNukePeaceTalksachance be trending only in my hippie cloud mind man?
Me explaining what Mitzvah means to my daughter. A Mitzvah is performing acts of good without any self-serving agenda like Trump working for free in attempt to denuclearize North Korea. As opposed to Hillary being Hillary.
Am I the only one blanking on any past US President’s attempts to end our threat of nuclear annihilation from N. Korea or Iran for that matter? I recall Obama nuke gifting Iran & diddling with sticks, drawing imaginary lines in the sand. W walking into doors.
Me explaining mutiny to my son. Mutinous is you accusing daddy of beating mommy to get me thrown in prison because I didn’t take you the deli for a treat. Son says. That’s not bad. I’d still be with mommy. I say. Stop encouraging me to cheat on her already.

 

 

If LavarBall was my coach dad, in junior high, he’d trash talk me into no longer prancing down the court on my tippy toes. Looking like I was in high heels instead of high tops. We’re trying to sell Baller Wear son, not Jimmy Choos.
Daughter
I scored a goal in hockey today during gym. And Cody, the best athlete in my class, gave me a high five.
Dad
Where are the Hanson Brothers when you need them? At least Cody hasn’t asked you out for out for some Paul Newman’s Lemonade yet.

Daughter
Daddy, your socks are so girly. I want them.
Stay At Home Comedian Dad
I could revert back to my old black dress socks and beg for my job back at Robert Half if you prefer. Daughter So Robert Half doesn’t rehire flamboyant metrosexuals?

 

The End

 

By,

Michael Kornbluth

 

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