When Fox Used To Be Cool

Tim Cook urges employees who feel shunned: Talk with me. What if I slipped into something more comfortable like Steve Job’s grandma jeans. He couldn’t rock tight jeans the way I can but nobody’s perfect.

 

Facebook launching #cryptocurrency doesn’t sound too cryptic Good Will Hoodie. I recall Mike Cernovich predicting crypto was the future but I’m not an accused rapist. So what do I know? Be less interesting Gorilla Mike.

Eddie Griffin defending Bill Cosby’s reign of rape in the 70’s.
Everyone wore coke spoons. Everyone took Quaaludes to take the edge off.
Dr. Cosby was just following Doc Hollywood’s orders. No black celebrities get off clean unless you’re Robert Townsend.

Chelsea Handler says Trump supporters don’t care that he’s a criminal. She’ll say anything to detract from her tits sagging popularity. You wrote some books about being a lushy sliz, real heady stuff, Jersey Girl. Reese, the Debutant, you’re not.

Using emergency funds to finance an incomplete wall, which fails to provide US citizens with bare minimum security standards “violates the will” of congress Ron Paul? The same will that let Obama nuke gift Iran on his way out the door without a peep twerp?

Using emergency funds to finance an incomplete wall, which fails to provide US citizens with bare minimum security standards “violates the will” of congress Ron Paul? Because basic homeland security was so weapons of mass destruction years.

 

Rep. Illhan Omar (D-MN) has no allegiance to Israel. We get it. Knowing you’re forbidden from even drinking western loved producers like Coca Cola, I don’t see you having much to keep your hands occupied during my daughter’s Bat Mitzvah anyway.

Biden has the best shot to beat Trump. Your son is banging his dead brother’s widow. And your resume is feeling up pubescent girls on camera as Obama nuked gifted Iran, neutered our military and declared war on cops, some resume to run on Joe.

Hillary says white supremacist views are lifted in the white house. You quoted Hamilton, the most expensive play on Broadway to prove what a compassionate, woman of the streets you are. If anyone acts like a superior white supremacist loser, it’s you.

Hillary lost because of racist voter laws. Stop acting in touch with the strap hanger minority class. After failing to get her Metro Card to work for the 5th time, she said to herself: Super Predators are watching. You can do it.

Eric Holder won’t be running for President. I don’t see him scoring a SAG card for any speaking parts in the next sequel for Fast and Furious either. There’s no way the Rock associates with that Jabroni if he plans to run for office ever.

King Kong Bundy moved for nobody. He was a trailblazing wrestling biggie. Who paved the way for future charismatic, power slamming bad boys like Big Boss Man and Bam, Bam, Bigelow. But King Kong Bundy, oozed more star powered gravitas than the rest.

 

My 2 kids just did a mock anniversary dance together to Frank Sinatra, One More For The Road. Their nickname now is Infinite Magic. It was beyond romantic considering their lack of source material to draw from. They got my active imagination.

Luke Perry was always cooler than Jason Priestley. Not being a know it all, dreamy, side burned nerd helped. I actually wanted to live in Minnesota because Brenda came from there. Luke Perry showed impressive acting chops in OZ, RIP Gen X James Dean.  Our Dylan wasn’t chopped liver either.

The End

By

Michael Kornbluth

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