Did I Watch The Oscars Rape Wood?

INT. Goodwill
Daughter
Why would anyone donate a diamond glittered glove?
Stay At Home Comedian
Michael Jackson impersonators being put out of business permanently. Finding Never Employable Again Land.

Int. Everyday Diner
Stay At Home Comedian
Cherry, Coke.
Waitress
It’s Pepsi Cherry Coke.
Stay At Home Comedian
I thought Jussie Smollet was desperate for attention.
I’ll have a regular Coke. The ghost of Michael Jackson creeps again.

INT. HOME SWEET HOME-NY
FATHER IN LAW
Matilda, when you were 1 where were you living?
STAY AT HOME COMEDIAN
Not in Delaware with Baba and Jida, devoid of all living color in more ways than one.

INT. CAR
Daughter
Daddy, is God a boy or a girl?
Stay At Home Comedian
George Carlin called God an office temp with a shitty attitude.
Daughter
I can see that.
Stay At Home Comedian
Stop acting so evolved at 8 years old already.

INT. CAR
Daughter
Daddy, is God a boy or a girl?
Stay At Home Comedian
If it was up to Bill Maher it would be a dreamy cross section in the middle.
Daughter
Daddy, was that a Michelle Obama Trans reference resulting in you getting murderd?

INT. HOME
Father In Law
Did you watch the Oscars?
Stay At Home Comedian
To hear Spike downplay the Alt Left’s escalating role in Charlottesville, doing their best Bomb Squad meets Beverly Hills Ninja impersonation?

Memo to Monique.
If Michael Jackson were alive to defend himself. His defense would be what? I bought homes for these kids parents and financed their shopping sprees on Rodeo Drive because Beatles royalty points can’t buy me love?

INT. HOME
Father In Law
Did you watch the Oscars?
Stay At Home Comedian
Kayne didn’t. Plus, I don’t waste my time hearing celebs in gated communities, espousing one manufactured hate crime crisis after the next.

INT. HOME
Father In Law
Did you watch the Oscars?
Stay At Home Comedian
Why, did Spike Lee insist Kevin Hart dropped out from hosting the awards to downplay his ties to the ruling, gay hip hop mafia?

INT. HOME
Father In Law
Did you watch the Oscars?
Stay At Home Comedian
Kevin Hart or not, the laughs would be short in this age of Me to raped by Harvey Hair Clumps Weinstein or by Cosby’s ironically low hanging pants.

INT. HOME INT. HOME
Father In Law
Did you watch the Oscars?
Stay At Home Comedian
Did the woman in white stand up to applaud Holocaust war hero liberators during Trump’s state of the union? Baby Face Omar can’t go against brand.
Father In Law
Did you watch the Oscars?
Stay At Home Comedian
Only Rape Wood’s allowed to resist?

INT. HOME
Father In Law
Did you watch the Oscars?
Stay At Home Comedian
Clint Eastwood said Obama is the biggest fraud ever imposed upon the American Republic. I’ll take Clint’s word for it over Al Sharpton Lee, thanks.

INT. HOME
Father In Law
Did you watch the Oscars?
Stay At Home Comedian
Did Kevin Spacey buy the Old Vic Theater in London to lunge backstage at men in tights? Wait a sec, Kevin Spacey obviously did. No, I didn’t watch it.

INT. HOME
Father In Law
Did you watch the Oscars?
Stay At Home Comedian
To watch Bradley Cooper pretend he wants to bang Lady Gaga in real life?

INT. HOME
Father In Law
Did you watch the Oscars?
Stay At Home Comedian
If the golden Jew Adam Sandler hosted, sure. Trump’s the Anti-Christ. But Jesus defeats him. So have some faith in the Jesus comeback story people?

INT. HOME
Paddington scene with Hugh Grant.
Father in Law
He’s a Shylock.
Stay at Home Comedian
That’s a blatantly anti-Semitic, Shakespearian term used by mutt Mic, Limey cross breeds like your dumb ass father in law kids. But I’m the racist deplorable.

At this rate any more Obama shit talking coming out of baby face Omar white washes any demonizing of Israel or it’s supporters out of her pretty, innocent face for me. Please God, don’t let this be a one time fluke. Someone tell her about Joan Rivers already.

Really wish I didn’t see any interview excerpt of David Lee Roth on Joe Rogan. His laugh makes Seth’s Rogan’s laugh sound cool. Also, I’m not buying Dave being the bigger alpha male sex god in comparison to Sammy. Despite Sammy singing of love more often.

Baby Face Omar ripping Obama again.
Obama loves Hitler more than Trump. Obama wishes he was that organized. Exterminating all of his nosy critics at Fox News and Judicial Watch would be a gas.

Outsiders film review 20 years later.
C. Thomas Howell’s agent should burn in hell for wrecking his career. Machio did Karate Kid too soon. Emilio Estevez is golden in everything. And Matt Dillon mugs for the camera like Johnny Drama with his shirt off.

The End

By,

Michael Kornbluth

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