Magic can’t trade Lebron. He made HIV disappear. Who are you to question Magic’s handle on the situation?
Explaining the significance of Elvis to my son.
Elvis was a white man who sounded like a black man. And before Elvis, dads weren’t letting their daughters hop on a train to the south side of Chicago to see Buddy Guy jerk off his guitar shaft.
Int. Off Broadway Playhouse
Would you run into a burning building for me, bad boy soy boy?
Was it you or Chloe Sevigny who got Aids in Kids?
Just kidding. In the end, Chloe didn’t feel so privileged after all.
Ban the electoral college. Because New York City has its shit together? New York City teachers can’t suspend Dangerous minds anymore like Tupac from Juice. Democrats have an easier time passing a bill denouncing anti-semites in their own house.
Trump is trampling on the Constitution? I thought he was showing Ann Coulter whose in charge.
Pass the ketchup dear.
Kellyanne Conway’s Husband
Heinz says it’s organic but it’s a total lie like your boss’s man of the people spiel.
These kids can’t go off to college fast enough.
Int. Home-Manhattan Beach
Trump is terrible.
Head Writer Wife
I know you’re excited to interview Ann Coulter Jimmy. But your cheating, slut bitch ex Sarah Silverman, is the one whose truly gone off the reservation.
Highlights of my day back to back.
Daddy, this Tortellini is perfect and fresh. The seltzer really makes it pop.
Mommy wasn’t entertaining me. I was playing with my Amazon Kindle.
Wife letting herself off the hook.
Baby really loves Little Bear. It’s a show on Nick Junior. Meanwhile, I’m thinking, he just prefers Little Bear’s company over you. Always knew he was a quick learner.
Intro for my 1st pilot script in 3 years, Crazy Good Dada.
Int. Dining/TV Room
Crazy Good Dada
This casserole was made with o.o love.
No yummy dances in mama’s honor tonight.
Crazy, good, it’s not.
Do It All Dad can’t be dismissed.