Do It All Dad Does Disses To

Magic can’t trade Lebron. He made HIV disappear. Who are you to question Magic’s handle on the situation?

Explaining the significance of Elvis to my son.
Elvis was a white man who sounded like a black man. And before Elvis, dads weren’t letting their daughters hop on a train to the south side of Chicago to see Buddy Guy jerk off his guitar shaft.

Int. Off Broadway Playhouse
Rosario Dawson
Would you run into a burning building for me, bad boy soy boy?
Corey Booker
Was it you or Chloe Sevigny who got Aids in Kids?
Just kidding. In the end, Chloe didn’t feel so privileged after all.

Ban the electoral college. Because New York City has its shit together? New York City teachers can’t suspend Dangerous minds anymore like Tupac from Juice. Democrats have an easier time passing a bill denouncing anti-semites in their own house.

Trump is trampling on the Constitution? I thought he was showing Ann Coulter whose in charge.

Int. Home
Kellyanne Conway
Pass the ketchup dear.
Kellyanne Conway’s Husband
Heinz says it’s organic but it’s a total lie like your boss’s man of the people spiel.
Kellaynne Conway
These kids can’t go off to college fast enough.

Int. Home-Manhattan Beach
Jimmy Kimmel
Trump is terrible.
Head Writer Wife
I know you’re excited to interview Ann Coulter Jimmy. But your cheating, slut bitch ex Sarah Silverman, is the one whose truly gone off the reservation.

 

Highlights of my day back to back.
Daughter
Daddy, this Tortellini is perfect and fresh. The seltzer really makes it pop.
Son
Mommy wasn’t entertaining me. I was playing with my Amazon Kindle.

Wife letting herself off the hook.
Baby really loves Little Bear. It’s a show on Nick Junior. Meanwhile, I’m thinking, he just prefers Little Bear’s company over you. Always knew he was a quick learner.

Intro for my 1st pilot script in 3 years, Crazy Good Dada.
Int. Dining/TV Room
(V.0)
Crazy Good Dada
This casserole was made with o.o love.
No yummy dances in mama’s honor tonight.
Crazy, good, it’s not.
Do It All Dad can’t be dismissed.

The End

By,

Michael Kornbluth

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