Overrated New Yorkers

Int. Kids U-Pleasantville, NY

Little kid smiles wide at me.
Stay At Home Comedian
Mom is boring you to death again, kid?
Kid
How you can tell?
Stay At Home Comedian
Because my mere presence does more for you already for starters.

POTUS vetoed the attempt to cock block his national emergency declaration. Despite congress as a whole trying to cock block it because they also bought into hands up, don’t shoot. New Yorkers like Trump who don’t sweat Uni Brow Maddow and Rape Wood power brokers are the best, USA, USA.

Why doesn’t Google want to work with our department of defense again? Oh, yeah, they’re still searching for their soul after they sold it to Chinese overlords who took out Bruce Lee. Nothing to crow about here.

My new line to anger my wife after my kids launch into another fabled yummy dance is: The dish was made with love. Glad you love the shrimp, scallion, stir fry, made with love Matilda. You think Mom, will ever show the best of her love and make me ribs once?

John Cusak: Democracy dies unless Trump rots in prison. You’d think Trump triggered his boy Hunter S. Thompson into a premature suicide by calling him an overrated writer. Hunter’s better off dead. Fake News fro didn’t make his precious NFL any better.

 

Memo to Gary Clark Junior:
How is Trump trying to take your land? Stick to guitar playing in retro Jimi Hendrix hats. I loved your last album dude. But let’s not pretend you’re a super deep thinker, linguistic genius like Kayne either.

Beto’s billionaire heiress wife is perfect for him. She stares at him intently because she knows who the eye candy is in the relationship. During his announcement to run, she ponders: Why can’t you get this worked up when you dress up for me as Magic Mike?

In Germany today, you can firebomb a Synagogue and the judge won’t decry the act as a blatant example of Anti-Semitism. They’ll make the court reporter call the terrorist a community organizer protesting Israel’s right to exist.

Blumenthal, you’re a disgrace to the Jewish people, Trump’s rhetoric was a factor in the New Zealand people? You’re a fake news war hero. You support the open border destruction of our country from stuck up, old money white Connecticut.

Trump empowers the KKK? How, by hugging it out with Kayne? Spearheading our embassy move to Jerusalem? Taking Dennis Rodman’s calls? Flip the script. Why don’t you ever hear about how much Obama empowered nuke builders, cop killers and Fentanyl pushers holmes?

Baby Face Omar was smeared? She called all supporters of Israel, deceiving, distrustful, money grubbing Shylocks, minus the Shylocks part because quoting Shakespeare would scream too much white privilege for her brand of anti-American imperial elitism.

Bin Laden sends warmest sympathy & best wishes to all New Yorker’s. What the fuck does mean Jeffrey Wright? You’re still just an actor right. A highly overrated, creepy one at that. But I’m sure Spike appreciates your new audition reel.

Fentanyl crossing the border has killed more Americans than died in Vietnam. Still border security is considered a manufactured crisis like Trump beating Hillary Hammer Time Cankles. Resulting in a nationwide white supremacist crisis.

I’m no fan but those who bitch at Chelsea Clinton for calling out Baby Face Omar for the transparent, foaming, anti-semite she is, beekeeper attire on or not can burn in hell. I’ll concede, Islam is super tolerant of Jew haters. It’s leaders are at peace with this much.

Jesse Smollett pleading not guilty in court.
Innocent, your honor. All the Fentanyl Obama let into our country made me do it. Judge says. Good point kid. Obama only pardoned weed and coke dealers. I’m assuming to get better shit.

Int. White House
Chief of Drug Control
King Hussein, Barry O, whatever, Fentanyl is killing more crackers than Taylor Swift kicking it with Lena Dunham.
President Obama
I’m out of magic. You think I’m a Voodoo Child or something?
Wife
No more American Dad with the kids.
Stay At Home Comedian
It’s a show about an American patriot who loves his country and wife down the middle. Plus, Roger is the hilarious gay friend you never had.
Wife
I agree. You’re not as hilarious.

Daughter to younger brother.
You’re the best brother in the world.
Now, can you stop being a wild beast?

I hate my pothead neighbors. I used to be one. But wake and baking 1st thing in the AM on a weekday down the street from the bus stop is the true definition of low class. I don’t care what color you are or what grade of stuff you intake.

EXT. HOME
Wife
Don’t leave the kids unsupervised watching American Dad.
Stay At Home Comedian
How about the ginger, scallion shrimp stir fry was delicious.
And I was of zero help entertaining the kids or keeping them busy during your do it all dad routine.

INT. Kids U
Stay At Home Comedian
What would be your top 3 reasons for leaving NY?
Kids U Worker
The People, the people, the people.
Stay At Home Comedian
Last call at 4 has lost it’s allure for me also.
This much I can resist.

The End

By,

Michael Kornbluth

 

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