Lady Laugh

Int. Stop and Shop-Morning
Do It All Dad swerves the shopping cart with a toy car seat attachment on the front with his 2 year old son Chosen Curls behind the toy wheel.

Do It All Dad
Somebody has been hitting the bottle hard this morning.

Another reason to hate Facebook.
Janice Bevilacqua, a poet, mother, best laugh ever, #deadhead, my high school class of 94, died 5 years ago. And I’m still getting birthday notifications for her on Facebook. Still making the universe laugh beautiful angel.

INT. HOME-AM
Do It All Dad
So Matilda, Kellyanne Conway is the 1st female Campaign Manager.
Wife
Don’t talk politics with my daughter.
Do It All Dad
But Trump will autograph my copy of A list #shadowbanned jokes, Stay At Home Comedian.

Nurse
We got your biopsy results back.
There’s no evidence of you having skin cancer.
Do It All Dad
There’s also zero evidence of #GeorgeConway ever being confused for George Clooney or in possession of a funny Jew bone in his body.

INT. HOME
Son
You never play with me. You never do anything with me.
Do It All Dad starts playfully kneeing his son in the midsection.
Do It All Dad
Did you say, do it all dad doesn’t knee you in midsection enough?

Son laughs, priceless.

INT. Living Room

Daughter
Daddy, show me a picture of the best looking girl who follows your blog on WordPress.

I show her.

Daughter
You can do better.

Son
Yeah, I wouldn’t dump Mama for her either, Dada.

If I block political ads for Elizabeth Warren on Twitter, does it make me Pocahontas Phobic or overly self-conscious of my deplorable grammar? Because she reminds me of my 9th grade English teacher, Mrs. Gilmore minus the southern charm.

 

INT. Daughters New Bedroom
Daughter
Daddy, do you love my new bedroom.?
I must say, you’re dealing well with this room no longer being your podcast writer office.
Do It All Dad
My next podcast episode title is “Demoted to the Garage.”

Why is Wendy Williams so popular again? Is she considered a more down to earth Oprah? Who doesn’t empower A list rapists like Harvey Hair Clumps Weinstein? Is Ellen considered an edgeless mouthpiece for the DNC in comparison? I don’t get it.

Can I blame Obama for ruining Woodstock festivals also? Why is Jay Z headlining Woodstock? Let me guess, Gary Clark Junior sings with him about how Trump stole Jay Z’s stake as the greatest MC ever because he has more followers on Twitter.

Biden is a total moron if he ends up running against Trump. What’s he calling his revised proposal for free Universal Health Care? Obama cared less about Americans keeping their provider? Because he really wasn’t one if you need to know.

Gave a standing o for the 1st Kill Bill, Inglorious Bastards, perfection. Reservoir Dogs, is his best. Still, did Quentin ever address Uma’s charges of chocking her with nunchucks on the set of Kill Bill as Harvey watched, touching himself, footing the bill?

Solution for final destruction of the resistance’s fleeting grasp of power in this world or the one below.

Trump proposes. Fine no Electoral College for 2020, we only count the popular vote. Just agree, to E-Verify Voter ID & you got yourself a deal Nancy.

 

Subhuman is anyone who defends ANTIFA like they’re King Arthur’s knights of the round table. Or anyone who defends Baby Face’s Omar comments as silly, brainwashed, PLO trainee rhetoric or anyone whose still glad Jussie Smollet took a shot.

 

Bernie Sanders talking to himself.
How do I do a better job of communicating how socialism leads to a vibrant democracy? I pitch to Netflix an American Idol refresh to make Nordic Black Metal great again?

 

NYU is letting Linda Sarsour speak. They do realize Adam Sandler is an alum, correct? You know the golden Jew who wrote the Chanukah song? OJ Simpson better be changed to Linda Sarsour, definitely not a fan.

 

Ted Koppel says the Establish Press is “out to get Trump.” It only took you 2 years to form an opinion on the subject Ted? Show real balls and discuss why Brennan and Clapper work for CNN covering up Obama’s plan to wipe out America with Fentanyl.

White Supremacists see Trump “on their side.” All of a sudden, Trump drinks and does Jager bombs with Milo at some after hours CPAC speakeasy off Special K Street? Is Trump retweeting Prince Harry now more than Jesse Waters from Fox & Friends?

Germany is furious at the US Ambassador for calling out their low defense spending. Bring up the Marshall Plan and how you never recouped your lost sense of pride and magnitude of wealth and culture before you let Hitler ruin everything.

Disney just bought all of Fox Entertainment’s assets for 76 billion. Now, the Simpsons will make sure Linda Sarsour can make endless cameo appearances with Chelsea Handler’s Nazi roots, to prop up her tits sagging popularity.

Janice Bevilacqua had the best laugh of all time.
It opened up Heaven’s Gate.
Only the good die young.
Lady Laugh star was her fate.

The End

By,

Michael Kornbluth

 

 

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