Too Funny

Big fan of Russian Doll on Netflix although I feel like a total fairy for being more aroused by the cool techno beats, spacious Manhattan pads and Natasha Lyonne’s fancy, slick scarves versus any lustful urge to mount her tied up to sky scraper high bedposts.

My mom is from Louisville, Kentucky. It’s more like mid west south. Not really deep south, where finger food is anything which tastes like your cousin’s panties.

Mom is from Kentucky. Growing up she’d say, “Son, Kentucky is known for horses and pretty women.” I say, “Mom put your sundress on. Before you tell me Dad is hung like Seabiscuit.”

INT. Daycare
Mom says to her kid.

Mom

Tell the Pirate joke.
What’s a Pirate’s favorite letter?

Stay At Home Comedian
Z because he’s passed out from drinking too much rum.
Little Girl
Too funny.
Stay At Home Comedian
Thanks for my next blog title kid.

Why would Kellyanne Conway be against POTUS insulting her husband on her behalf? You wouldn’t want your boss to dump on your hack husband on your behalf? Trump is the master troller insulter. Plus, he’s easier on the eyes than Jeff Ross.

INT. HOME
Wife
Why are you reading Art of the Deal to your son?
Stay At Home Comedian
So he could close the deal with Ivanka’s daughter when he get’s older.

Dershowitz: Dunes, has no case against Twitter. Don’t you have a fake news ethic class to teach at Harvard scallion breath? Sound more like an establishment, money hungry puppet mouthpiece whore for hire.

Memo to Judd Apatow:
Trump supporters are cult like Zombies. Did Gary Shandling, Albert Brooks, Adam Sandler and Seth Rogan joke doctor the shit out of all your scripts because your online commentary sounds consistently, whippets dumb, awful.

INT. Dicks’ Sporting Goods-NY
Stay At Home Comedian
Got any KP Dallas Maverick jerseys yet?
Dicks Worker
Whose KP?
Stay At Home Comedian
The Uni who got away. Who took my remnant age of innocence with him.

Saying Trump is jealous of McCain is like saying Randy Gerber is jealous of George Clooney’s ex wife. Or of George Clooney in comparison who looks more old man Greek than Hollywood would ever admit.

Younger Brother
The world doesn’t revolve around your children.
Big Brother
You managing to read only 1 story to my 3 kids in 8 years, living only 45 minutes away for most of it speaks for itself. But thanks for the unpleasant reminder.

INT. Stop and Shop-NY
Older Woman
My brother lives in Arizona but he moved to Florida because the flight is a schlep from NY and nobody would bother visiting him.
Stay At Home Comedian
Yeah, my parents didn’t think through their move to Arizona either.

The Ellen Show now has clips on Spotify. I can’t wait to hear her witty, asides about Michelle Obama being a rock star. Is she playing the lead in a parody of the Tina Turner movie by the Wayans Brothers, What’s Talent Got To Do With It?

Trump addressing Tank builders in Ohio.
You better love me or the plant is closed.
And the movie Red Dawn becomes your permanent reality.
Bernie Sanders just dropped a load in his pants. Assuming, George Soros gave him permission.

Memo to Stacy Abrams.
Whose suppressing black votes in Atlanta? Is Andre from Outkast encouraging young black democrats to vote only Democrat regardless of what work Kayne has done to make young black men feel like less an outcast, rocking MAGA?

Friendly reminder McCain lovers, Chris Rock did a bit ages ago. Stating, war hero, he got caught. Also, he picked Palin as VP. Whose still super bangable. But he might as well have picked Mischa Barton, winning Orange County, maybe.

David Letterman is disappointed in Trump’s Putz presidency. First, Joan Rivers had used tampons funnier than you. 2nd, hicks from Indiana don’t get to use Putz, it sounds forced like you pretending to be a weighty intellectual of any kind.

David Letterman is disappointed in Trump’s Putz presidency. Jealous much? You weren’t filling up stadiums ever so fans could hear you speak solo. You we’re a stand up for a day. Howard Stern, Trump, Dice are larger than life, not you, nerd.

David Letterman is disappointed in Trump’s Putz presidency. Don’t you have a Baby Face Omar interview to do on Netflix with Oliver Stone as the Creative Consultant, blaming Jerry Heller for putting words in Omar’s freedom fighter mouth?

California Democrats demand, Trump better foot the bill for the high speed rail from San Francisco to Los Angeles or what? Find Ian Fleming’s son to pen a more convincing dossier? Stage another fake hate crime, accuse Lindsey Graham of raping Truman Capote?

 

 

The End

By,

Michael Kornbluth

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