In Mueller We Trust, Not

You want to puke up your chicken wrap for lunch? Washington Post & the NY Times shared the Pulitzer Prize in 2018 for Russia Gate reporting. At the same time, Stephen King can’t even distinguish between fiction & bat shit crazy anymore.

Michelle Obama calls.
Chicago Prosecutor
What now Michelle?
Michelle
Just give Jussie a slap on the wrist. He likes that.
Chicago Prosecutor
Chicago PD will be pissed.
Michelle
Look, Barack needs a win today badly, alright!

Michelle Obama calls again.
Chicago Prosecutor
Yes, Michelle.
Michelle
Friendly reminder, clear Jussie of all charges. He’s too precious for prison.
Chicago Prosecutor
He almost triggered a civil war.
Michelle
Jussie was just accelerating what was put in motion already.

Dear Resisters,
Watch Rocky 4 today, over a kick ass American IPA. And come to peace with POTUS being on America’s side. He pardoned black pride incarnate, Jack Johnson for Christ Sake. It was Stallone’s idea. Miles Davis dedicated an album to him. Forget about it.

Int. Daycare
Mrs. Diane
Is Arthur feeling better?
Stay At Home Comedian
He still looked great as he puked out a waterfall of salmon chowder. Even the puke had a rainbow glint to it. It looked like he was puking a Capri -Sun commercial.

INT. DAYCARE
Stay At Home Comedian
Son asks me this morning. Did you run on the treadmill yet?
I said, I got food poisoning last night. He says. Stop making excuses slacker. You’re worse than Hillary.
Security Guard laughs.
I like that one.

My son picks out Q for our letter of the day to learn words from. I start with.

QAnon- Proof conspiracy theories come true although Jussie Smollet being released today is wearing off my buzz, I must admit.

Good friend from college texts.
Trump is clear of all charges. You must be stoked.
I reply.
I am, my parents and in-laws not so much.

Good friend from High School texts.
Check out Dirt on Netflix.
I reply.
I’m writing a parody of the movie called, Hillary’s Down With The Devil. Other titles I’m considering are Death Stares That Kill, Huma, Huma, Huma and Time for Gitmo.

Int. 4 Seasons Room
Mueller
Nancy, you better tell your media peeps, you won’t be pursuing impeachment.
Nancy Pelosi
Fine, will just tell Brennan he received “bad information.”
And our intelligence agents suck at bullshit detection.

New York Times apologizing to it’s readers again.
You wanted the Russian collusion fairy tale to come true. You wanted to think your degenerate dependent drug addict children were superior to Trump’s children, wrong again, sorry.

Over 60 Rockets fired from Gaza into Israel despite ceasefire. Rashida Tlaib just creamed herself prematurely. Today, she might be less on edge and only scream for impeachment every other breath.

Rashida Tlaib still calls for impeaching President Trump. At what point, can we blame her non-stop presidential harassment on her archaic, older than Yiddish, Sharia law rooted policy toward non converting infidels? Just curious.

Friend from High School texts.
Check out Dirt on Netflix.
I reply.
Jared Kushner talked Trump out of Motley Crue playing at his inauguration, claiming Tommy Lee looked too alt right for it.
Translation, my Hebrew Hammer can’t compete Dad.

INT. HOME
Stay At Home Comedian
Arthur, always use condoms, no matter what.
Son
How many condoms come in a box?
Stay At Home Comedian
Zero if you’re Shawn Kemp or Larry Johnson.

INT. HOME
Stay At Home Comedian
Arthur, always use condoms, no matter what.
Son
How many condoms come in a box?
Stay At Home Comedian
If I was a real player. Who took my own advice.
Who wasn’t such a lush in my twenties.
I’d know kid.

Americans broken for learning Trump is innocent from charges of being Putin’s hired puppet. Despite POTUS arming the Ukraine and sanctioning Russia and showing Syria & ISIS whose boss. I’d move out of your parents house. Because Baby boomer arrogance never dies.

Interesting fact, kids in Tokyo ride the subway as early as 1st grade. So the sicko Japanese pedophile suit in Kill Bill was tortured by the same knee high sock Japanese girl on his daily commute for 17 years straight and finally cracked?

Utah passed a free-range parenting law, exempting parents from accusations of neglect if they let their children play or commute unattended. How else will Big Love squeeze in time to make his 6 wives happy?

NY Times reports. Mothers who juggle jobs outside the home spend just as much time tending to their children as stay-at-home mothers did in the 1970s. So all these 70’s housewives slept on the job on Quaaludes, haunted by images of Cosby’s family friendly sweaters?

Uni Brow Maddow refuses to accept Barr’s judgement without the full release of the Mueller Report. Neither does her sad sack loser viewers. So at least Unibrow Maddow shares this in common with her deplorable dunz hat demographic.

INT. Newark Party Pad
Corey Booker
I’m not willing to drop the collusion hoax Rosario.
Rosario Dawson
Rotten Tomato critics said I should give up acting after Alexander.
And look where it lead me to now.

Elizabeth Warren doesn’t trust Barr’s judgement. Take some Peyote to develop your powers of introspection. I’m sure your 1 percent Native American Indian blood will reveal itself in the form of a truth Chakra crystal, which reveals all babe.

All this Russian collusion BS starts with Obama because Trump had the balls to question the snake’s true origins because his social security card states he’s from Connecticut. Clips of Obama speaking perfect Farsi & nuke gifting Iran don’t help his case.

I didn’t know Rham Emanuel made speeches anymore. He left Obama way before the rise of ISIS and FISA Gate began. His brother is Trump’s agent. He must know the shit is about to hit the fan. Start draining POTUS, Godspeed.

Jussie Smollet was cleared of all charges. Too bad, you can’t make the same claim for the mainstream media’s incessant lying and smearing of President Trump because the news cycle of his historic accomplishments continues to be too much to bear.

With charges dropped, Jussie Smollet wows to fight for “justice and equality.” Unless, it involves any other instigator of fake news hate crimes, further fueling, ramification free, unchecked violence against racist MAGA hats because the NY Times decrees them so.

New York Times apologizing to it’s readers again.
You wanted the Russian collusion story to be true. It’s not our fault the basis of a 2 year criminal investigation was based on Facebook ads, golden shower rumors & crap English spy excerpts.

Int. Hannity Radio Show
Hannity
Did Christopher Steele ghost write Obama’s books in addition the Russian Collusion dossier?
FISA Court Judge
I don’t think.
Hannity
But Steele had zero problem disguising hit job fiction as truth for the highest bidder, slick.

Special Olympics defunding, how low can you go Twitter? Are we supposed to believe your normal, unverified sources? Is this the great Obama’s latest and greatest Russian collusion lie peddler deflector? Like the left would’ve had these kids anyway.

INT. CAR
Son
Are hippies Jewish? They love God and God is Jewish.
Stay At Home Comedian
The drummer of the Grateful Dead, Mickey Hart is Jewish, but it’s not a requirement to love God. I don’t see Baby Face Omar rocking a tie dye hijab on 420 either.

The End

By,

Michael Kornbluth

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