Bad Boy Soy Boy

Grossing out my wife this morning on purpose.
My dump this morning was enormous.
It felt like a Quartet blew 4 Oboes out of my ass.
It was an ode to foursome release.
I taught the kids Q words yesterday. Blame the Thesaurus, not me.

Parenting doesn’t matter? It has zero impact on your kids success? So the girl in the Fallen Angel video just wanted to get back at her dad for stalking her at too many band recitals? Blow the Oboe out your ass Dad. I’m with LA Guns now Pa.

Memo to Jimmy Kimmel:
Sad, is more Americans dying of Fentanyl overdoes than from Vietnam. Which all come through the southern border, some farce, Buffalo Burger breath. You’ve killed any remnant of respect for late night comedy.

Memo to Stephen Colbert.
You’re like John Oliver minus the twerpy, English charm and admirable punchlines where propaganda fiction meets more propaganda fiction in honor of a #POTUS funnier than you at Ground Zero. You Podesta played putz.

Barbara Bush states her dislike of Trump in her new biography. Talk about overdue. Is Fahrenheit 9/11 banned from her local library in Texas? Fake news perhaps? At least, Hillary had the balls to get rich or die trying.

 

Thoughts on the season finale of Six Feet Under 60 Years Later
Did creator Alan Ball not use Kevin Spacey in it ever. Who won an Oscar in Alan Ball’s American Beauty prior because Kevin Spacey turning down the Nazi kiss was the apex of his acting career?

Final thought on the season finale of Six Feet Under 60 Years Later
Can Nate decide whether he’s a glum ghost or not already?
It’s hard not to imagine Alan Ball using greedy, pushy Federico as a front for every Jew Spike Lee or Rashida Tlaib ever portrayed.

Arnold should pay the 18 million in cuts for the Special Olympics himself. Or have his wife host a fundraiser. Ted Kennedy foots the cost of life guards. Or demand Chris Pratt pay a cool 18 million as a dowry to marry into Camelot on steroids.

James Comey confused by the Mueller’s obstruction decision.
Russia did interfere in our US election. I saw the counter attack campaign attack ads against Hillary. Hillary, Obama what difference does it make? I screwed that up didn’t I?

Rashida Tlaib responding to the sticky note charging her of perpetuating Jihad against Israel off the record.

Palestinians deserve human rights like the right to vote to keep Terrorists in charge of negotiating a 2 state solution. Hamas knows best.

More annoying than Jessie Smollett getting released, almost.
Trying to teaching my son Q words for the day and he screams. You’re making me want mama. I reply. Comedy clubs don’t look so bleak anymore.

I love how Twitter thinks the Green New Deal and Jussie Smollett’s release is enough to distract half of America for buying into a now debunked Russian collusion fairy tale with less legs than Lieutenant Dan or Jeff’s Zucker’s claims of reporting the facts.

AOC after the Green Deal got shut down.
Water poisoned residents of Flint, Michigan got evicted from their homes for unpaid water bills. Of course, they trust their district government less than Michael Moore’s makeover. He doesn’t matter anymore right?

If I joke doctored a comeback line for AOC after the Green Deal got show down.
Is getting evicted for unpaid water bills knowing the water was contaminated, considered the trapping of elitism? That’s like still charging property taxes to Syrian refuges.

Int. Home
Wife
Why can’t they release the full Mueller Report?
Stay At Home Comedian
You barely manage 10 minutes of reading time with the kids per week.
I also wouldn’t expect the report to feel like a speedy, heady rush like an episode of Russian Doll.

Int. Home
Wife
Why can’t they release the full Mueller Report?
Stay At Home Comedian
Because Nancy Denture Breath Pelosi never cared enough to read Obamacare from start to finish. And still doesn’t know what’s in it.

INT. DAUGHTERS BEDROOM LAST NIGHT
Do It All Dad
Randolph Hearst was a fan of the Jews. He used to insist his mogul buds enter country clubs with him, which said, “No dogs, no Jews allowed.”
Daughter
Goodnight.
Do It All Dad
Bored already Baby Face Omar, yikes.

INT. HOME
Do It All Dad
Can’t believe I pulled my left calf muscle today after my right just healed.
Wife
It will give you motivation to make money for a swim club membership. What, I was being playful.
Do It All Dad
You tickle my ego like no other.

INT. Home
Wife
You’re not going to wear a MAGA hat in DC are you?
Stay At Home Comedian
It’s a prop for our a teaser scene for my pilot Crazy Good Dada. I play a Cooking Show Host Prop Comedian, your son Arthur wears the hat playing bad boy soy boy.

 

The End

By,

Michael Kornbluth

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