Overt Bitch Test

Overt Bitch Test
Do you like the Cauliflower Angel Wings Babe?
If you like it raw.
Old Dirty knew better than give the bone to just one bitch.

Do you think the name Nightmare is a good Heavy Metal Band name?
Stay At Home Comedian
I think Alice Cooper just sprouted a stubby.

INT. Lego Store-Yonkers, NY
Stay At Home Comedian
Kids we’re leaving.
The Lego Store Worker blatantly ignoring our presence at the cash register is proving how white reverse racism works in real time. Oh no he didn’t, yes I did.

INT. Uniqlo

Daddy, can I take a selfie in my new nightie?
Stay At Home Comedian
No, especially no nightie pics on Instagram when you’re a teenager ever.
Based on mama’s sproutage, I’m not sweating bullets over your blossomy breast upheaval either.

Pizza Guy
Still rocking the Knicks gear?
Stay At Home Comedian
Convinced Dolan paid off a girl to accuse KP of rape because his aggressive brother agent reminded him too much of Russian gangsters in 25th hour.

Pizza Guy laughs long time.

Int. Home
Daddy, whose better Michael Jackson or Shakira?
Michael Jackson is evil.
What does that mean dada?
Do It All Dad
It means he got away with murdering ages of innocence like a smooth criminal.

Iron Man 2 is great. John Favreau is an American treasure. He directed Elf and Will Ferrell was never funnier outside of Eastbound and Down. Gwyenth is even quite bangable in Iron Man 2 and not annoying at all. Mickey Rourke’s face looks normal.

Daddy, why did Dr. Wenick tell me to hug Matilda every day.
Stay At Home Comedian
So she doesn’t become jaded in her older thirties who places more importance on a suitor’s political leanings over his do good actions.

Daddy, I’ve got no brownie game.
Shannon can make them, Eva can make some sort of pastry.
Mama can’t even teach me how to make space cakes for my balling hippie artists friends in the big city when I get older.

Daddy, why did Dr. Wenick tell us to play more board games?
Stay At Home Comedian
So you can force your grandparents to take a time out from CNN whenever they’re around to engage you again.

DVD Players are antiquated.
Stay At Home Comedian
It’s for our daughter’s bedroom.
And she’s an old soul.
Plus, stop equating cool with cloud based modern technologies.
Grow up already babe.

The Extra Small nightie would’ve been better because it wouldn’t droop as low and show her nipples.
Stay At Home Comedian
Nipples, they’re molish dots.
Also, the nightie covering up enchilada is more important babe.

The End


Michael Kornbluth


2 thoughts on “Overt Bitch Test

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s