Get Out Of My Life

5 Year Old Son
Where’s mama?
It’s taking 1 million decades.
Do you want daddy to read you a story?
Get out of my life already.
Mama’s dead.

2 Year Old Son walks down the street in his fleece with 2 hands in his pockets, chiller than Matt Damon in the Outsiders with his shirt on.

Stay at Home Dads are welfare mothers in hoodies. I wear a polo one. According to CNN, I’m an elitist White Supremacist. I only listen to Kayne West duets with Paul McCartney.

Crazy, Good, Dada
Pilot
(V.0)
Picture a family cooking show for dads if Jim Gaffigan was Jewish and only had 3 kids. We’re The Pescatarain Comedians.

Crazy, Good, Dada

Pilot

Do It All Dad
(V.O)
I want to get paid to hang out with my 3 kids.
Is this love or co-dependence times 3?
Time to find out World Wide Web. Give it up for my prop comedian family, The Pescatarian Comedians. Food history served bit by bit.

 

The Pescatarian Comedians Pilot Younger Brother The world doesn’t revolve around your kids. Stay At Home Comedian Our Bad Boy Soy Boy sketch got 2 million views last week alone. According to Youtube it does.

 

INT. DELI Old School Italian

I tried to invent an apple sauce dispenser so I could get paid to hang out more with my kids .

Stay At Home Comedian

Our kids are superior company than most, especially when mommy keeps busy.
INT. DELI Old School Italian I tried to invent an apple sauce dispenser so I could get paid to hang out with my children more.

Stay At Home Comedian

I bet your shoulders don’t collapse when your son hugs you on his birthday.

INT. HOME

Wife

A Kiss shirt? You’re not in High School anymore.

Stay At Home comedian

Don’t act like you’re so tight fitting anymore.

 

INT. HOME
Daughter
Why does Shannon call the MAGA hat racist?
Stay At Home Comedian
Because her mom only gets her news from Telemundo.

INT. KIDS U
Playing with my kid. Another kid by himself, tags along.
Do It All Dad
I got 3 kids little man.
I’ve only got some much new kid love allocation to spare.
Here’s a card. Tell your dad to review my podcast on Itunes & will talk.

MAGA Hats have become a symbol of White Nationalism? Then, why does Kayne West rock it? Do White Nationalists even fancy, high end, porcupine Persian puss? Also, name another white nationalist invited to Kayne’s sermons on God in Calabasas? I’m still waiting.

The MAGA hat is a symbol of white nationalists. I thought it was for time for real life profitable change. MAGA hat is a symbol of white nationalists. That’s what CNN hopes to shame 64 million branded racists who voted for Trump into thinking. Jussie Smollett claiming complete innocence or not.

Candace Owens unedited.
No offense Mr. Leiu but Obama is the one who loves Hitler. Obama wishes he was that organized. Mass extermination of his Zionist critics would be a gas, whether it’s through slipping them Fentanyl into their soup or not.

INT. OFFICE
HR
How will you handle commuting to the city after 3 years?
Stay At Home Comedian
After looking after 3 kids 2 summers in a row with no AC, the commute on MetroNorth will feel like a 5 week rave in Germany, actually.

Memo to Craig Carton:
Doing time as a stay at home comedian with limited congenial visits since our 3rd kid has turned our bed into an after hours open milk bar has made me a better on air personality host also. I’ll bet you on it, double or nothing.

 

Awkward Classic Rock DJ Moment
That was Love Hurts. Ah, Kleinfeld only got to 1st base with a buck toothed 6 by Texas hottie standards in Dazed and Confused. I’m still Large Larry for a reason. That hurts.

The End

By,

Michael Kornbluth

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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