Zero Empathy For Sheep

Amy Poehler opening up to the Hollywood Reporter.
Hillary not being elected was a “huge loss.” I never meant my demonic powered, cackle hyena representation of Hammer Time Cankles to hurt her chances of beating Pussy Grabber ever.

Impeach Trump, are you kidding me? On the basis of what, to boost baby boomer morale who’ve given up hanging on to every word from Uni Brow Maddow since the blue balls Mueller Report dropped.

Warming up to Cher.
She says. Excuse me if I don’t want murders, rapists and child murders to vote. Is she attending Kayne’s Sunday sermons? Did the ghost of Greg Allman tell her to take some boomers for some soul shine light?

Why Does Silicon Valley fawn over Mayor Pete?
Because they fantasize about him being the real alpha dog to be the go to top in a room with Peter Theil. Or else good luck drawing blood from Trump on the debate stage Millennial.

Twitter announced plans to allow users to report tweets which “mislead voters.” It doesn’t matter. Shadowban this, resist this, Americans care about results like ending never ending wars, our duly elected American President making ball busting great again.

Mayor Pete doubts Sanders can beat Trump.
You’re still a millennial mouseketeer mayor of Indiana, correct? Exude enough establishment torpedoing gravitas to have the DNC steal your nomination and will talk children of the corn.

Little Kim in an upbeat mood before his summit with Putin.

I should Skype Dennis and have him ride Michelle Wolf for me today. Raggedy Ann can’t resist this photo op for the ages. Also, black guys aren’t into busted, skinny bitches.

Whoopie Goldberg on freed terrorists having voting rights.

ANTIFA kids are old enough to vote, I think. Baby Face Omar can vote. What, in the age of Trump we need all the comic relief we can get.

Discouraging my daughter from wearing her robe with no undies on underneath.
Cover up Enchilada already. So the Chinese Underworld has less to see. I can only handle so much basic instinct to let your vagina air out at 8.

Amy Poehler on the age of Trump.
It’s hard to not a have full panic attack every day.
Tina Fey is smirk free now. Did you know that? Teeing off Palin was child’s play compared to Trump. At least, Netflix has our back.


Amy Poehler on Trump again.
Woman have been righteously furious about this administration. Putting so many woman in positions of power. As their husbands benefit from the 1st spike in significant wages increases in over 8 years.

Amy Poehler on President Trump.
I can’t watch him speak let alone stomach Alec Baldwin’s sagging sense of purpose since the Mueller Report release. Improv 101 is always agree and say yes to everything but this gross injustice.

Amy Poehler teaches her sons about privilege by imploring them to donate their birthday money to causes like immigration. Save time, and buy them gift certificates from Michael’s, to build beautiful mock walls at home.

Amy Poehler opening up to the Hollywood Reporter.
Hillary not being elected was a “huge loss.” I never meant my demonic powered, cackle hyena representation of Hammer Time Cankles to hurt her chances of beating Pussy Grabber ever.


Booker defending Baby Face Omar.
She hasn’t dropped the K bomb yet has she?
But the bitch was wrong to trivialize 911 and blame it on Bush. Do you fake feminist bitches want a free thinking, Democratic centrist president or not?

Bernie Sanders on letting felons vote again.
Boston Bomber, Adebisi from Oz, give them all the right to vote, except Martha Stewart. Assuming she’s caught insider trading again. She’s made enough money off white housewives already.


God pushing me to not abandon my podcast domination dreams just yet.

Text reads. Can I get a holla for some Challah? Fuck the Apollo was comedy gold. Because that’s what friends are for. Thanks Paul.


Explaining to my Dad what happened at the Apollo.
Waited for 2 hours and I walked away. You waited for 2 years for the Mueller report. Have you decided to walk away from the rape enablement, Jihadist hijacked Democratic party yet?

What if the Knicks get Zion, Durant and Kyrie?
Stay At Home Comedian
I’ll still be rocking the Dallas KP jersey next year.
Because I want to believe in Latvian unicorn comeback miracles. Uni will fly high again.


Stay At Home Comedian
Lamb, Rabe and Gruyere on the same sandwich, sold.
My pre-sandwich giddiness is under my skin. Fuck Russell Brand’s empathy for baby sheep.

Selling my son on us moving to Georgia eventually.
Southern gals taste like actual peaches. East Coast yenta breathes are the pits. Natural beauties in New York don’t grow on trees.

The End


Michael  Kornbluth

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