NY Times Equals Menace to Society

Has Woodstock been called off or not? Remaining Jay Z fans need to know.

I really want to know. Has Woodstock been canceled or not? Alanis Morissette utters out loud, taking a breather from going down on her new boyfriend during the Avengers. Who most likely looks nothing like Ryan Reynolds.

My Woodstock cancellation theory.
Katy Perry was the headline closer at Jazz Feast in New Orleans.
So the talent pool for Woodstock in 2019 isn’t as deep compared to Limp Biscuit.

But seriously, has Woodstock been called off or not? Rumor is Michelle Obama told Jay Z to cut the man of the people one love act since Jussie Smollett ruined the blueprint for more half ass orchestrated, fake news based hate crimes.

On the phone with my wife.
Wife
I’ll ask my dad to pay for the remaining part of the fence.
Stay At Home Comedian
You have the perfect voice, face and smell.
Wife
Daddy, still really loves me. What a relief.

INT. Elementary School Library
Vice Principal
I went to SUNY Albany. My husband was in ZBT.
Stay At Home Comedian
They invited me to pledge events when I attended Lake Forest College.
They were below their Jewish pledge quota.

INT. Elementary School Library
Vice Principal
I went to SUNY Albany. My husband was in ZBT.
Stay At Home Comedian
They invited me to pledge events when I attended Lake Forest College.
Jewish frats, represent, represent, represent.

Thoughts on the last Game of Thrones episode.
The White Walkers became more tired than the Russian collusion tale with less legs than Lieutenant Dan. Taking down the blond bitch will feel less anti-climatic than the Mueller Report.

The NY Times ran another anti-Israel cartoon, portraying Bibi holding up the 10 commandments with a Star of David on it. They don’t even try to be funny, let alone edgy in a thought provoking, non appeasing Omar way.

Is it me or am I getting the distinct impression the NY Times has become Baby Face Omar’s masturbatory newspaper of record? Does she even have what rhymes with Mitt anymore? NY Times is so not smart or respected anymore.

Calling Joe Biden “overly affectionate” is like calling CNN obsessed truth promoter unearthers.

INT. HOME
2 sons play.
Stay At Home Comedian
God couldn’t make you better looking if he tried kids.
And no, it’s not because you’re a shade paler than Nancy Pelosi’s grandson’s preferences.

EXT. HOME-AM
Waiting for bus.
Daughter
Whose Joe Biden?
Stay At Home Comedian
A 76 year old man, who smells young girls hair as people watch.
Daughter
I thought Hillary’s body count compared to White Walkers was creepy.

Adjectives I associate with the MAGA hat.

Fearless
Unapologetic
Proud
Patriotic
Tough
Informed
Impassioned
Dragonesque
Solid
Non-Sketchy
Independent
Alternative
Empowered
Superhuman
Lovely
Respectful
Ultra-jovial

INT. HOME
Daughter
Daddy, did you know you can’t hunt for Bald Eagles?
Stay At Home Comedian
It’s because they’re an endangered species like funny late night comedians.
No wonder George Carlin died a bitter comedy legend.

RIP John Singleton. Everyone knew Menace to Society was a blatant, poor man’s 5 years late rip off. Ving Rhames was never more menacing than in Baby Boy. Higher Learning wasn’t chopped liver either. Jordan Peele exists cause of you.

Bo Jackson Cross Trainers description.
With them on, I felt like I could climb the deep center field wall at Sleep Away Camp. If I wasn’t hampered by my putzy Jewish DNA and white man’s disease.

The End

By,

Michael Kornbluth

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