Long Distance Grandma’s Years Off

Quotes on Mother’s Day aren’t the best sales pitch to use on Millennials
relishing their non mom status.

It’s difficult but rewarding.

Being a mom has made me so tired and happy.

Tina Fey doesn’t smirk anymore.

You’ll be less stable than single Sarah Silverman.

How does Mother’s Day change when you become a Stay At Home Dad?

Father’s Day receives equal billing, in our household at least.

Grandma’s who expect to share Mother’s Day celebrations are selfish, unless they’re local and perform the actual role of involved Grandmother. Who lives for time with her grandchildren versus Mueller blue balls reports and Jeopardy

Mother’s Day changes when you become a Stay At Home Dad.

According to LinkedIn, the most popular search I appear under is Hermaphrodite Homemaker. So technically speaking, I should get half of mama’s box of candy on Mother’s Day.

Why do mothers get all the attention on Mother’s Day?

Shouldn’t the kids be the ones celebrated knowing how much social variety they provide dad from mama?

Which ensures a happier, loving family dynamic home life to look up to.

Mother’s Day changes when you become a Stay At Home Dad.

Especially, when your lazy, Trump hating, mother-in-law amasses years of resentment because of your starring fill in status, rendering her long distance half ass Grandma services obsolete.

Mother’s Day changes when you become a Stay At Home Dad.

It’s impossible to not feel the amassed bitterness from your absentee, sloppy second Grandma from afar. Because she never offers to babysit for us on Mothers Day ever.

What does a mama’s boy do for Mother’s Day after he become a Dad for the 1st time?

Call up his mom on Mother’s Day and say.

My dependent bitch wife has hungry eyes for my exclusive attention today. I should’ve listen, I know.

It’s hard for Grandma’s to not feel like sloppy seconds moms on Mother’s Day.

Their time for spiritual molding as Oprah would say is over.

Now, all they have to show for it is a daughter who thinks 3rd term abortion is kosher.

Grandma’s, especially long distance ones should kiss mama’s ass on Mother’s Day.

Because their lives on Facebook would offer them nothing but empty filler, full of stupid memes such as Joe Biden is just old school touchy, feely.

What does an ANTIFA terrorist do to celebrate the best of his love for mom on Mother’s Day?

Take out the trash for once. Meaning move out of the house for good.

Keep his mask on and spare ma the acne scars which never cleared up.

How does Linda Sarsour celebrate Mothers Day?

Have Roger Waters sing Mother to her mom via Skype on his private jet pro bono?

To ensure Palestinian voices condemning smothering, liberty suffocating mothers aren’t silenced.

What can John Kerry’s daughter give her mom for Mother’s Day which she doesn’t already have? Besides, a glued on, replica of Jared Leto’s face to replace her pruned apple one for Iluminati gang bangs in Martha’s Vineyard.

The End

By,

Michael Kornbluth

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