Pleasing God With Polite Please Prayers

It’s hard to get your wife into kinky role playing when you’re a stay at home comedian. Because I’m already choking my wife too hard financially.

This big tech purge of influential conservative voices is dumb. Nobody buys the hate speech rationale bullshit. Patton Oswalt is the hateful, bloated troll. Diamond and Silk are De La Soul in comparison.

Break up Facebook. Good Will Hoodie has too much power. He’s made Baby Boomers the laziest grandparent generation ever. My mother in law lifting a finger to like a new baby pic is more draining than you can imagine man.

Ben Shapiro cut his interview short with the BBC. Let me guess. They asked if Ben wore his skull cap to hide his devil horns but apologized for it because Baby Face Omar double dared them to do it.

I don’t care enough about Ben Shapiro’s twerp meltdown to look past into the interview from the questions which offended his impervious sense of honor. Because he was a blatant dick to Trump heading up to his historic win. Who’s the headliner slayer now?

Last comment on the over hyped Ben Shapiro interview walk off on BBC. If I’m accused of Islamophobia on air. I hit Obama hard. Obama’s the wannabe Hitler. He wished he was that organized. Obama nuke gifting Iran. Anyone home Mc Limey?

When did Cher become a parenting expert? Cher says. Trump’s kids aren’t worth a damn. Did Chaz pay for penis attachment surgery from his song royalties? Can her son of Greg Allman even score an internship with Grateful Dead and Company?

How did Al Sharpton become a Democratic party king maker? Is he Bill Clinton’s unknown love child? What does he share in common with Obama? Besides Michelle Obama’s Almond Smoothie diet and being the Jussie Smollett instigator of his day.

Bezos and Musk pissing on each other’s exploration plans.

Bezos
You can’t build shit without your butt boy Trump funding it.

Musk
How do you not feel lost in space inside your new girlfriend? She was married to Tony Gonzalez. Then again, I’ve heard about the size of your dic pic sent to her and Alexa being responsible for the death of small talk.

Pence on Omar. She has no place on the Foreign Affairs committee. Unless the bare minimum requirement for the job is to cheat real anti-Semites of better brand name recognition and improved trusted SEO rankings on Google.

Why sweat pro-life prayers outside of Planned Parenthood in Philly? That’s right, their Bible Bullies. You thought the Broad Street Bullies on the Flyers were a force to fear. Prayer Beads give Eric Lindros concussions now?

The End

By,

Michael Kornbluth

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