Fuck Weird, Weak Howard Stern

Howard Stern says. “Living under the Trump presidency feels like an alternative reality.” Howard always strained to sound forced deep. His best words of wisdom in his debut book Private Parts, was don’t go to prison. Hillary passed on the book Private Parts, in favor of Eat, Drink, Wheeze.

F weird weak Howard.
He thinks Hillary would’ve beaten Trump if she took the gamble and let him interview her. Because Huma Licker Breath came off so well on 2 Ferns. Lesbian Dial A Date would’ve loosened her up and made Hillary Hammertime Cankles come off as a less bloated, diabolical, power hungry bitch in no time.

F weak, weird Howard.
He came out to the Daily Beast as a diehard Hillary supporter. Because of her decades of public service. Name one accomplishment Howard? Besides, getting Jimmy Kimmel to turn your brain to mush
F weird, weak Howard.
Never would’ve bought his new book if I knew the reformed narcissist ever uttered the words “die hard Hillary supporter.” I thought Gary the Retard was mentally challenged. Your bullshit detector God, Lenny Bruce would be so proud.

F weak, weird Howard.

“Living under the Trump presidency feels like an alternative reality.”
Is that your PR man speaking through you Howard? So, Jimmy Kimmel still invites you for chicken parm dinners with Jennifer Aniston?

I love the bottled water she does commercials for, Smart Water. It adds extra bounce to my step. It makes me feel like Jennifer Aniston on the rebound.

F weak, weird Howard.
“He can’t stand his old narcissism.”
Going out of your way to kiss the Obama slobbering, gap toothed hick from Indiana on Late Night back in the day. I understand.
But without your old narcissism, you don’t throw legendary funerals for Imus and become the larger than life shock Jock who could afford to dump his wife backer of 20 plus years for your trans upgrade in Beth, all mighty satellite king. Also, why does your new wife Beth wear so much lipstick? Normally, so, so pretty woman wear makeup because they have less than flattering, ghoulish, manly features to hide.

F weird, weak Howard.

You paid the Rev Bob Levy a measly 100 dollars as a gag writer on your show. Still, you’ve got the gaul to bitch about the Rev Bob Levy giving lengthy plugs for his stand-up comedy shows on your radio show? Used to feed his family. And then insist he was fired from your show because you’re worse at giving credit where credit is due than the sour puss resistance faces at MSNBC, Unibrow Maddow included.

Hey Howard, this is Chris Mathews sexually harassing his new chesty intern for MSNBC. Eating out Maddow, counts as your lunch break babe.
If Howard Stern is cured of his all-consuming narcissism than why not give credit to the recent policy decisions resulting in our current Trumpian led boomtime economy?

If Howard really cared about being an evolved, non-discriminate ball buster he’d address the MSNBC assertion behind Obama being the US President responsible for the lowest unemployment rate in African American history but actually be funny about it and state.

Giving Obama credit for our current Dow Jones Highs is like giving Nino Brown credit for getting Pookie off crack and welfare in 1991.
You know New York has gotten soft. And how Howard’s gone even softer.
When the Silicon Valley lords of the universe at Twitter now exists to keep Howard’s 650-million-dollar ego, afloat, dent free.

Every other F weird, weak, Howard truth bomb joke read above was posted on Twitter earlier and got my account frozen every time. Now, I can’t even start new account because of my alleged “unsupported phone number.” Understand, I’ve started 42 new accounts over the past year to ensure my jokes get read and aren’t shadow banned again.

I would prefer if I just got a lifetime ban already from the Twitter Twat CEO Jack Dorsey. At least then, it would make an interesting talking point when I’m promoting my upcoming, self-published books this summer, Falling For Fatherhood and Stay At Home Comedian. Henry Miller had his books banned in America. I’d like to join such a prestigious club.
Howard regrets mentioning to Robin Williams how he left his ex-wife because he started to bang his nanny. But how else was Howard going to feel good about himself in the presence of an Oscar winning comedian?
Granted, the movie Private Parts loses its good guy encrusted, heart filled luster knowing Howard never stuck it out with the wife he achieved super stardom with. Who’s also the mother of his 3 kids, etc.
Howard also regrets asking Gilda Radner if Gene Wilder had a big penis? So, now that Howard is neighbors with edgeless, yenta breath, Seinfeld in South Hampton, he no longer works blue? We’re still talking about the same shock jock who thought Fart Man was needed in a major comedy advancing way to make Bill Hicks jealous in comedy heaven above?

Howard Stern Comes Again is a real headliner hooker of a book title Howard. I guess Beth comes again to Jimmy Kimmel’s Trump is bad, media is good monologue would’ve been overacting beyond her limited screen credits on IMBD.com.
Howard Stern Comes again is the worst title ever Howard. Why not name your book collection of celeb interviews, Tools Like The Unhuggable C Word O’Donnell, being proven wrong about Russian collusions tales with less legs than Lieutenant Dan?
Now Howard tells Terry Gross on NPR, how he started out in radio, only doing outrageous racial, sexual and religious material to entertain and enlarge his audience. Because he had concerns of not making a living. You were doing material you thought was funny Howard because that’s what you were judged on in addition to making your mark in less politically correct times. But keep on proving your incapable of less honest introspection than the Harvey Hair Clumps Weinstein empowering, Jihadist hijacked NY Times dude.

Obama ruined Howard Stern. Add that to Obama’s illustrious list of accomplishments. Would the old school King Of All Media feel compelled to conduct an apology tour 25 years later otherwise?

Hey, Howard sound more like a double-talking FBI stiff James Comey and claim all your jokes, mostly written by others like from Jackie the Joke Man throughout the eighties and nineties we’re politically insensitive errors of judgment, lacking no real malicious intent whatsoever.

But Howard wasn’t done grossing out old school watchers of his Channel 9 show on NPR just yet. He added. “If I hadn’t grown and changed, I don’t know I could still be on the radio.” I’m sure that was Howard’s exact pitch when he resigned with Sirus XM radio for 90 mill a year.

If you hadn’t grown and changed Howard, you don’t know how you can still be on the radio? Becoming an old-world media establishment, high priced whore mouthpiece doesn’t reflect deep wowing evolution Howard. In reality, it’s a gargantuan, blatantly unnecessary, reversal of unapologetic funny. But hey, as long as Terry Gross on NPR is giving your book of interviews anybody can watch on YouTube, a favorable plug.
For all your tough talk Howard, you couldn’t handle a scrap of the 24/7 scrutiny our President endures between diet cokes, making NY flavored, ball busting great again. It could’ve been your legacy in a post fake news moralist grandstanding Obama universe, and you blew it.

Just when old school Stern loyalists like myself, couldn’t stomach any other new age drivel from Jerry Curl Crow Stubble Stern, he tells Terry Gross on NPR, his cherished superego/ID is “buried and dead.” But he still thinks the 30 million Sirus listeners could’ve swayed the election in Hillary Hammer Time Cankles favor if he only got to interview her about those deleted 30 thousand emails, including Yoga specials from Lulu Lemon and funeral arrangements in the woods, in case Chelsea Clinton’s husband decided to increase his asking price at the last sec.

Also, for legendary radio man, who made a living off aiming his comedic venom on those hypocritical, bullies in power. The fact Howard doesn’t unleash any justified venom at Trump supporter attacking ANTIFA, shadow government colluding Obama, fake news dossier financing Hillary, or on the treacherous FBI, deep state, you know Swamp Thing, signifies Howard’s title of World Heavyweight ball buster of the most deplorable, hilarious order is finished.

With KP gone, Louie’s show on FX over, Joan River’s daughter, pledging her support of Biden, the Yankees banning Kate Smith’s song of America the Beautiful, Madison Avenue being in bed with fake news fro Collin Kaepernick, The Giants trading away their only marquee personality, masters of the universe Bloomberg and Jamie Dimon at JP Morgan Chase being all talk but never showcasing the balls to take on the Big Donald on the national debate stage of ideas. My cherished New York City of old is so yesterday’s, meh, news. I was convinced Bloomberg was going to run against Trump during the last presidential election.
Then, Bernie Sanders had the DNC nomination stolen from him. So much for 2016 being the year for Atheist Jews.
But at least Park Slope’s sleepy prince of pompousness Bill De Blasio is being heckled in Trump Tower in the house that The Donald’s super ID built loud and proud. Too bad Howard’s introspective version of himself, doesn’t sound so loud and proud anymore. Between you and me, Howard no longer feels like the King of All Media, with Trump being Trump today. Above all else, that’s why Howard comes out with this book now to help solidify his good guy legacy. Meanwhile, there’s no way Howard ever works for free like our President, knowing what chump change he pays his writers to make him sound tougher than Dice.

Trump’s got great relationships with his drug free, non-hysterical children. And Baby Boomer arrogance never dies and that’s why so many other faded A list NY boomer celebs on the decline of cultural influence with less than stellar relationships with their own children, such as Robert Dinero and Alec Baldwin resent this beloved man of the people president, responsible for making ball busting great again, not weird weak Howard.
Reality update Howard, African Americans still got 99 problems, but President Trump isn’t one of them. I’m also more inclined to believe President Trump being the most pro African American President ever knowing how gang banger reformer, black pride incarnate, Jim Brown has his support over you. But at least you sold Terry Gross at NPR about burying your Super ID for good. Who sounds like the more laughable, Con Man now after all?

By,

Michael Kornbluth

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