Dragging Out Drag Queen Story Hour

Drag Queen

Do you kids have any questions about me?

Daughter

Do you have a different way to express your feminine side without wearing such heavy makeup?

Do you think Bette Midler should have her account suspended on Twitter, for wishing President Trump would be murdered, buried in an undisclosed location along Rockaway Beach somewhere?

If Drag Queens are obsessed with expressing their own special brand of individuality, then why do they dedicate their lives to dressing up like Donna Summer, only performing songs they heard on the radio, radio?

If Drag Queens care so much about reading to kids at libraries, why don’t they become full time Librarians instead? Knowing Librarians objectify their bodies less than Nuns do? Just think of how much money Drag Queens would save on their dry cleaning bills alone.

If a Drag Queen wrote a kids story, would she be more inclined to call it Nocturnal Beauty Only? Because Library lights aren’t as forgiving in broad daylight.

Was it Michelle Obama’s idea to strong arm Libraries into Drag Queen reading hour because her gay friends were such big fans of Joan Rivers on Fashion Police?

Why is my younger brother better at putting on nail polish than I am? Does this mean he identifies more with being a Cambodian manicurist than I do?

Don’t you think Drag Queen reading hour is more age appropriate for reading stories such as Bi Curious George? Targeted toward sexually confused hipsters reared on Lou Reed Records.

Why don’t Drag Queens ever dress up like any of the Hair Metal Gods my dad worships like Tom Kiefer from Cinderella? Or does the raspy howl of their lead singer Tom Kiefer, clash with the old school Dolly Parton type?

Michael Kornbluth

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