Who Still Likes Hillary?

Who still likes Hillary? She either steals fine china or breaks it without ever footing the bill. Too bad you can’t blame lying, crooked, homemaker shamer behavior on anti-Islam videos.

My brother refusing to condemn Kobe.
His movie made me see a different side.
He called himself the Mamba to embrace his bad boy attack instinct.
Raping the girl was a power move like Harvey Hair Clumps Weinstein at Sundance.

INT. Grocery Store
Worker
Love the flag trunks.
Do It All Dad
I thought they’d give my resistor mother coughing fits of despair like Hillary on election night.

INT. GROCERY STORE
Worker
Would your son like some stickers?
Do It All Dad
That’s like Lebron not liking selfies.

Worker laughs long time.

INT. HOUSE
Do It All Dad
Ugh, you’re calling your father to wish him a happy Father’s Day.

You really think a bare minimum display of affection on your part, one hour before he falls asleep on the Lazy Boy will send his endorphins higher?

Wife says. My mom got you a mask for Father’s Day.

I learn later my mother-in-law didn’t buy me a mud mask treatment from Spa Hunters.com but made a mass prayer on my behalf.

Chances are, she didn’t ask Jesus to forgive her for force feeding communion on my children.

What good impression did my mom think she was making when announcing on repeated occasions how this was the 1st time seeing her granddaughter’s school in three year in rapid succession?

What happened? My son came out as a Trumpian.

Ben Shapiro destroys what? My tolerance for Republican talking heads who try so hard to give the impression they were smarter, funnier and popular than Trump was in Military Academy. His grating voice is like an RA Chelsea.

INT. HOME
Do It All Dad
I’m up to more than 3500 downloads on the podcast.
Brother
Really?
Do It All Dad
I’m just making numbers up to impress my non-demographic. But I’m glad you think all Trump supporters aren’t any less mentally strained than you are.

INT. CAR
Brother
No white people live here.
Do It All Dad
Would an MS-13 member as my neighbor put you more at ease bro? But where you live in Scarsdale Village sparkles with diverse jewels of divinity, jerkoff.

INT. HOME
Do It All Dad
I’m getting a pedicure for Father’s Day.
Mom
Can you convince Dad to get one?
Do It All Dad
The man insists on grilling anemic, burnt Kosher steaks to prove his manhood when my wife makes Snapper Francese.

INT. HOME
Do It All Dad
My mom got me a book 1001 songs to hear before you die for #FathersDay.
Wife
It means you’re dead to her since you came out as pro Trumpian.
Do It All Dad
I got that message when she told me to become a garbageman. Shoot for shit is her motto in my honor.

I tell my kids a story about Neil Young hitting a school bully to the ground with a dictionary.

Mom says. I think it’s better to fight back with words.

I say.

But threatening to draft articles of impeachment still gives off the impression Odoyle rules.

What positive response did my mother expect to engender from my daughter’s 2nd grade teachers, after admitting this is the 1st time she’s seen her school ever?

Teacher replies.

Thank God for Facebook. Your after school activity is more CNN then.

I tell my kids a story about Neil Young hitting a school bully to the ground with a dictionary.

Mom says. I think it’s better to fight back with words.

I say.

But threatening to impeach Odoyle from the school cafeteria doesn’t get the job done ma.

I tell my kids a story about Neil Young hitting a school bully to to the ground with a dictionary.

Mom says. I think it’s better to fight back with words.

I say.

But threatening to impeach Odoyle from the school cafeteria doesn’t pack the same whallop mom.

INT. HOUSE
Do It All Dad
Ugh, you’re calling your father to wish him a happy Father’s Day.
He made you wrap your own Bjork box set for Christmas.

How much of a loving humanitarian can he be?

Providing no Christmas surprise magic whatsoever.

I push for my mom to get a tour of my daughter’s elementary school.

She says. This is my 1st time seeing her school in 3 years.

Why would you admit that?

Even Hillary made it out to Michigan to dine in Mario Batali’s lakeside retreat once.

INT. HOUSE
Do It All Dad
Ugh, you’re calling your father to wish him a happy Father’s Day. How is that possible living with your mother? Did you ship your dad a duller set of steak knives for Father’s Day, in case your mom starting throwing them at him again?

I push for my mom to get a tour of my daughter’s elementary school. She says to multiple teachers. This is my 1st time seeing her school in 3 years.

I’m thinking. Sound more nonchalant about it mom.

You’re worse than Hillary.

INT. HOME
Do It All Dad
I’m up to more than 3500 downloads on the podcast.
Brother
Really?
Do It All Dad
Do you want to see a screenshot of my stats like a pic of ANTIFA vandalizing a Military Recruitment Office on Google images?

My brother being my brother.

Why did mom only plan a visit back to east to spend time with your kids?

Because the world doesn’t revolve around your no talent, dumb mook mopings.

EXT. SUSHI RESTAURANT
Kids throw rocks.
Do It All Dad
No more rock throwing.
What is this Palestinian Appreciation Day?

Busty, hot MILF smoking cigarettes on the curb laughs long time.

INT. HOME
Daughter
I saw a guy in a dress at the coffee shop.
Do Trans have beards to? Because his presentation as a woman looked pretty half ass to me.
Do It All Dad
He identifies with unemployed circus freaks like daddy.

This is my Father’s Day not ending so hot.

I say. So, I’ll get a blow job for Father’s Day next year?

Wife replies.

But you never go down on me.

I say. But mine tastes better and Blondie is tastier than most.

Michael Kornbluth