My Millennial Mouseketeer Generation

INT. PIZZERIA
Do It All Dad
Do you think Durant will go down as the most tragic victim of cyberbullying of all time? Playing for Brooklyn, in Lena Dunham country would be such a KD move. He thinks he’s the voice for the Millennial Mouseketeer generation.
Pizza Manager laughs long time.

Since when should I give a shit about what Andre Iguodala says about anything? He was a sixth man on the most loaded guard team of all time, who came up big. So did Robert Horry, but I’m not clamoring for his book on his blah brained personality either.

If Michael Jackson were alive, what would his defense be? All the Beatles royalties points in the world, can’t buy me love.

“Fake News” and “Hate Speech” is how Trump won Google? I thought it was because more than half of America really hated Hillary Hammer Time Cankles. Happy doodling.

Leaked Google docs label Jordan Peterson a Nazi. I just thought he was anal about using the most exacting language possible to describe group think enslaved Twitter Twats addicted to latching on to fake news moralist grandstanding.

Google Exec defending herself on Medium for stating Google nation’s hurt feelings for Huma Licker Breath losing. We can’t let this happen again. We’ve got Chinese overlords on our Board of Directors to answer to. I think Marco Rubio is hot.

Dice and Roseanne are launching a Mr. and Mrs. America Comedy Tour. This is Dice.

Ivanka wanted Motely Crue to play at her dad’s inauguration because of Tommy Lee’s snake in his pants. Jared pleas. My Hebrew Hammer can’t compete Dad.

Trump has ties to Russia, duh. Most mail order bride owners do. Oh, would I love to give Melania a bang, Michelle Obama naked, meat bag boner gone.

Why do Trump and Melania sleep in separate beds? Does Donald need put his meat bag on ice from breaking off his joy stick in Melania’s muff mitt or what?

For the record, Valerie Jarret does live with Obama. She did author the nuke gifting Iran deal. So double down Roseanne and insist that horse faced wench Valerie Jarret is Obama’s Arabian Horse Whisperer on Fox News. I’d bang you again without the lights on.

Roseanne, how did you get so bangable all of a sudden? Is it your tan jugs, the blond highlights or the thought of you turning Tom Arnold into a fat, resistor, lesbian?

They still show Cosby show ads on TV land after commercials for Ambien in heavy rotation. But Roseanne’s show got canceled for a tweet, that makes sense.

The woman’s march on Washington. All I saw was a whole lot of Rosie’s sporting a whole lot of chin’s. I also thought. Talk about spreading your pussy hat supply thin.

Did you see the eye patch on Madonna? Did Jose Canseco drop a hot load in her eye for old times sake?

How blown up does Madonna’s snatch look by now? I bet it looks like it camel toed on to a landmine in the occupied territory. Oh, I can’t take no more.

INT. HOME
Plumber
My wife still likes Hillary also. Maybe, your book can convince her otherwise.
Do It All Dad
It can make your sex life above average again.

Am I the only person who doesn’t give a shit about sanctioning the Foreign Minister of Iran? Iran has less good will in the bank than Suge Knight. I want Kerry thrown in cuffs while wind surfing in the Cape this summer for sedition now.

Memo to Nicholas Kristof: Obama solved the nuclear crisis by nuke gifting Iran 150 billion, and putting the kibosh on Hezbollah money laundering, drug sting ring, because he didn’t want to disrupt his precious deal at the last sec? Got it, Mullah lover you.

Obama was seen on a boat in Italy with George Clooney. It wasn’t a banana boat float like the one Melo was on with Chris Paul & Lebron. Still, how does Obama not feel like second banana in this instance? At least Clooney did something of merit to win a prize.

Andy Richter, you know the unfunny, fat toad designed to make Conan come off as magnanimous? Yeah, so that hack accuses all evangelicals as “full of shit” for supporting Trump. Thank God you have a career in show biz at all, you dumpy, drollish, zero stage presence, parasite. Your boss wrote for the Simpsons with twenty-five other writers. We got it.

Isn’t there an unwritten man code that says barber shall not touch your fucking eyebrows in the midst of a beard trim unless specified? Even if I’m a unibrow Siamese twin who could use some personalized hubba, hubba, winkle for my own flirtation game.

Do It All Dad putting his foot down.
I can’t handle Colby asking you to write something in his yearbook. You belong to me and your two brothers for the indefinite future. I’m happy for you.
Younger brother blurts. I’m not happy for you.

When your wife voices concerns, about rat infestations and drowning of your kids because of your own doing. You don’t regret voicing concerns of your wife boring your kids to death in your debt book without your steadying presence around as much.

Michael Kornbluth

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