American Pie Beauties

I’ve got 3 kids. I’ve aged well I know, since my TV debut on the reality TV show Blind Date. All I got out of the show a was free meal and herpes.

INT. BARNES AND NOBLE
Do It All Dad
They made the Mueller Report into a book? Like Chinese Democracy by Axl Rose, he took forever to write it. Plus, both releases ended in blue balls for Rob Reiner.

Me summarizing the Declaration of Independence for my kids.

It was America’s more stately way of telling Mother England to choke on a scone. Insisting Thomas Jefferson wasn’t staying loyal to the Queen or into mole infested fever. Moving forward, America would only pledge Greek fraternities on US college campuses for easier access to high grade American Pie.

Michelle Obama is doing films for Netflix now? What’s her 1st project, a Tina Turner film remake about herself retitled, What’s Talent Got To Do With It?

If a Baby Boomer lifts a finger, it’s liking a pic of their grandchildren on Facebook. Or my mother in law using Emoji’s to overcompensate for her colorless personality on top of being a retarded emotional expressionist.

INT. HOME
Wife
I’m just exhausted.
Do It All Dad
I thought you were just depressed at how much fun the 3 kids and I had today without you. Funnier dad happier babies. Our fuss free kids for the most part are living proof of it.

Michael Kornbluth

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