Missed More Than Mommy

EXT. HEAVEN
Joan Rivers
Clinton body count is still trending on Twitter Anthony.
Anthony Bourdain
Up for a titty fuck Joan?
Joan Rivers
I thought you’d never ask.
Shit, God can you zap Bourdain’s foreskin off in a flash?

If a boy is born 100 percent gay, does he suck down booby milk regardless? Because he doesn’t know what his preferred oral fixation is yet.

Bette Midler claims Trump pays black people to pose in pictures with him. Because Kayne West became famous for going out of his way to please his white slave masters in the song Black Republicans. And Jim Brown makes bank reforming gang banger’s I’m sure.

Bette Midler claims Trump pays black people to pose in pictures with him. Because Kayne West and Jim Brown are the Wayne Brady and OJ of their day, you dumb bitch. And Candace Owens is the help for Jerry Nadler offline, moron.

D.L Hughley calls Trump supporters lower than Satan worshipers. You’re a reformed gang banger, who was at the right place at the right time. You make Kevin Hart sound Paul Mooney deep in comparison. At least show a strain of attempted funny, comedian.

Scene: De Blasio debating Trump

De Blasio
You won’t be welcome back to New York.
Trump
I worked with Ed Koch, to rebuild the Wollman Rink in Central Park, under budget. Charter school cock blocker, let AOC cock block Amazon’s move to Queens.

De Blasio
You don’t know what’s right for New York.
Trump
You turned NY into a Sanctuary City, which is encouraged lawlessness, you dumb mook. You use NYPD to protect the head of ANTIFA outside his Brooklyn pad, Lena licker.

Baby Face Omar says be more fearful of white man than Jihadists. Because blowing up buildings to bang virgins in the afterlife is no indicator of knee jerk Jihadi having enough blood on his hands already.

Baby Face Omar says be more fearful of white man than Jihadists. I know because so many Jihadists are known for their animated senses of humor involving making fun of you know who.

NY Times letting Baby Face Omar write op-eds, means Steven Spielberg is off their Kwanza party invite list.

Girl from my past who grazed my meat Mallet once sends me an instant message.

Your parents retired to Arizona. Good for them, well deserved.

I reply.

They’ve been absente grandparents ever since, 3 grandchildren later and growing.

Explaining Bruce Lee to my 2 year old boy.

Bruce Lee was an American and the Chinese killed him for teaching martial arts secrets to Kareem, who couldn’t carry a film based on his force of personality, if his life depended on it.

INT. FANCY ITALIAN GROCERY STORE
Baby boy pushes car that has a plastic flag attached, which reads customer in training.

Do It All Dad
They should change the sign to shishy bitch on the rise.

Older Italian woman laughs long time.

The Obama’s are creating podcasts exclusive for Spotify.

Their participation trophies from Hollywood and Big Tech never end.

Is Ben Rhodes already framing the resisters of the podcast as Trans hater war mongers?

Girl from my past I tried to get a book review from.

Have you taken your family to Australia yet? I reply through instant messenger.

Yeah, opening for Jim Jeffries, assuming he can handle my pro Trumpian material should cover the cost easy.

Does your husband get cabin fever from your constantly stalled banter never lifting off past Clicheville?

Have I taken my family to Australia yet? Fly your 1 kid compared to my 3 from NY to Arizona once and I’ll treat your inquiry more seriously.

EXT. HOME
My 3 kids bum rush me.
Daughter
What took you so long?
Do It All Dad
Were you that miserable without me?
Daughter
Kind of.
Do It All Dad
So much for mom’s makeover making up for my presence when I was gone.

Michael Kornbluth

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