College Is Off The List Dad

Free In-House Marriage Couples Therapy:
I address my 5 Year old son.
Arthur, tell me to suck it up because you’ll be miserable without me.

Epstein’s last words. Orange Is New The Black is social justice porn for Obama.

EXT. Restaurant
Boomer Dad
Aren’t you going to say great seeing you?
Do It All Dad
You bolted from the restaurant after I started scoring laughs from strangers next to our table. You refuse to encourage my gift. I got the memo seared into my subconscious.

INT. HOME
Do It All Dad
College is off the list Dad.
Your grandchildren can’t identifiy as proud New York Jews on your standard east coast based college campus without being persécuted as monstouros, white chosen Supremacists.

Scene: Trump on the phone with whomever is in charge of Denmark. How about we take Greenland off your hands?
Didn’t you guys give into to radical Islam and ban Gummy Worms at schools because they weren’t Halal? Is white sauce next? It doesn’t have to be.

Scene: Trump on the phone with whomever is in charge of Denmark. I love the Mermaid statue in Copenhagen. Neil Young, never a huge fan, just dumped his wife of 35 years for Daryl Hannah. He’s going through a post midlife never banged a mermaid crisis.

Anger Management Therapy Idea:
Spill a brand new Lego set in the Mall cafeteria until the parents stop dropping f bombs, cursing their children’s existence on the spot.

Jay Z will be picking America’s half time entertainment offerings now for the Super Bowl. Adam Levine’s topless tatoo show combined with the firey background felt too alt-rightish, with an extra flamer twist. Proud Boys are no flaming sodomites alright.

I resent my mother for instilling the fear of my youngest son being prime pedophile snatch up off the playground material. Dad adds. But will eye him like a hawk when we look after him in our gated community playground in Scottsdale, Arizona no problem.

Baby Face Omar won’t slip into depression after being denied entry into Israel. She’ll just write it off as something happened to Jews no longer being hospitable to anyone who supports financial sanctions akin to real life terrorist occupier lovers in Iran.

Hugging flags isn’t patriotic but refusing to stand for the national anthem is Popovich?

He’s like Ron Kovac in reverse minus the Bronze Star and Oliver Stone giving 2 shits about penning Duncan, Parker, Ginobli and me. Show class like the Admiral poker face.

On the phone with younger brother.

I’ll be attending the dinner, Natalia has to look after the kids.

You mean my rehearsal dinner.

Are you marrying yourself?

Takeing selfies of yourself driving drives that motif home already but I digress.

Don Junior shouldn’t go on a Twitter blast after the same targets as his father.

It’s like Dl Hughley doing a set after Chris Rock.

The talent discrepency is more glarish than Trans Chucky trying to fill Joan Rivers clown shoes on Fashion Police.

Jon Lennon gave Julian a trust fund because being a working class hero would threaten his legacy to be.

You can’t be bigger than Jesus if you don’t nail your marks on Sullivan to Love You Do.

On the phone with Dad.
Aren’t you excited to see your father?

Inviting me to Peter Lugers after blessing you with 3 fuss free grandchildren would make me feel more singled out for my unique brand of specialness inside.

The Mooche insists Trump incités hate.
Didn’t he break an F bomb in rapid succession record second to Cankles on élection night?

INT. CAR
Cop
Liscense and Registration.
Do It All Dad
What was I pulled over for officer? Child Trafficking because I got three kids seperated from their mother in the back?

Scene: Car
Do It All Dad
How does your dad exude any self-worth knowing he had all Summer to clean the Slip and Slide for Baba Camp? No clean water to spare?
Son
I even packed 2 pairs of trunks for it.

Do It All Dad laughs long time.

INT. HOME
Daughter
Daddy, did you know Barbie has 5 husbands?
Do It All Dad
What a slut?
Daughter
What’s a slut?
Do It All Dad
Wearing short shorts and lipstick to Larry King book signings, with predatory zeal untill he drops dead.

INT. MOVIE THEATRE
College Bud
Giving your kids Diet Coke isn’t good.
Do It All Dad
Your diet now is hardboiled eggs and chicken wings. Cut out the wings and I’ll like your Keto diet fan page with a ghetto fabulous twist Balboa.

INT. HOME
Boomer Mom
The flower basket isn’t pretty enough for a Flower Girl.
Do It All Dad
No offense môm, but it’s in poor taste to dump on the basket knowing Uncle John has done zilch for you to exploit my kids for feel good props against my will.

How do Trump’s words inspire terrorism?

Is he quoting Jihad mentions in the Koran with Al Jazeera’s Piers Morgan ?

Does he tweet shoot anyone not wearing MAGA marching gear?

Does Trump dox ICE agents? Bankroll ANTIFA if Soros stiffs them?

INT. MOVIE THEATRE
College Bud
Giving your kids Diet Coke isn’t good.
Do It All Dad
Is that what your AA book says?
Also, don’t you have a deviated septum? So why don’t you blow your childless condescension up your ass, Dr. Drew Howser M.D.

Banana Republic is selling Hijabs now. Baby Face Omar can modèl thèm to conceal her business casual anti-semetism.

Victoria Secret hired a Transgender girl. Modeling pink duct tape for Home Depot in the power drill asile will be under scandalous scutiny next.

INT. HOME
Wife
Put a shirt on, we have company over.
Do It All Dad
I’m just proving Stay At Home Dads can be trophy wives to. No need to cover up a droopy physique with a Lulu Lemon fitted spanx tang top up in here.

Michael Kornbluth

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