Bono’s World of Confusion

I can’t live with or without you? What the fuck is Bono talking about exactly? Some ex who swallowed but grazed from time to time.

I can’t live with or without you sounds like Bono singing about Brexit. Assuming, he cares about leaving a London behind for his kids minus the acid attacks and hate speech police, which would’ve thrown his God Bukowski in jail for calling Dylan overrated.

INT. HOME

Wife

What do you think of my Brazilian Blowout?

Do It All Dad

It would be hotter if you adorned your head with a Peacock feathered headband and a bedazzled g-string, assuming we met at Mardi Gras before banging out 3 kids together.

INT: PARKING GARAGE-NYC

Garage Guy

I have to charge you fifteen dollars extra because your car takes up so much space.

Do It All Dad

It’s a regular size SUV, just tell me child tax breaks don’t apply in New York City ever.

15 dollars extra for the SUV. But Planned Parenthood get’s public funding for killing off future fossil fuel consumers. Let’s write it off as a robotic, automated, white privilege tax then.

They should rename the Great Hill in Central Park to an abandoned putting green on the upper part of Central Park, where cat ladies roam.

Trump cancels meeting with the Taliban. Because a decade worth of non-stop violent aggression against non-aggressors only concedes terrorism will never end from them until the Taliban stop fucking.

Sean Penn wrote a novel about Trump not winning the presidency again called Hope Bullshit Floats Sam.

Not surprised one bit, the sampling of jokes I’ve read from the Alec Baldwin roast translates to Jeff Ross and Carolla being the actual hilarious comedians in that room among all the lesser, hacks in attendance.

Jeff Ross roasting Alec Baldwin. Kim Basinger hates Alec Baldwin so much, she’s willing to audition for the remake of the Coal Miner’s Daughter. Then, Trump can boast, “I made Kim beautiful with a bunch of shit on her face.

EXT. Central Park-NYC

Do It All Dad

Is this your Lemonade Stand?

Manhattan Dad

But it’s for a private birthday party.

Do It All Dad

But you can only afford to have a birthday party in an open border park open to all. I thought your daughter could use some new shoelace money, my bad.

INT. TARGET

Boy

Barbie.

Do It All Dad

You’ll have ample opportunity to play with real life Barbies when you get older. Dada already plans on stuffing your back pack in junior high with pre-poundage consent release forms.

Random Grandma laughs long time.

Linda Sarsour endorsing Bernie for president. I know a self-hating Jew when I see one. I’m the face of moderate Islam because I grew up in Brooklyn remember? I’m surprised he doesn’t demonize his domineering mother more than Israel if you ask me.

Michael Kornbluth

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