Ride or Die Barbie’s

Hasbro the Toy Company just bought Death Row Records. Will Mr. Potato Head come with a bullet proof vest because he has enough missing organs already?

How did the CEO of Hasbro spin this acquisition to his board of directors? Cabbage Patch Kids need an urban brand refresh less elitist conjuring than Michelle’s Obama’s Kombucha liquid lunches.

Hasbro the toy company just bought Death Row Records, after buying Mattel which makes Barbie. The Tupac doll comes topless because your daughter will undress him in 2 seconds, anyway. Today Suge Knight declares from prison. Poetic Justice is served bitch.

Hasbro makes GI Joe action figures. But Suge Knight isn’t an American hero. He’s a convicted Crip who would make Cobra Commander fold his laundry after making him his gimpy bitch in the slammer.

I’m not joking. Hasbro the Toy Company just bought Death Row Records. It ain’t nothing but a hostile takeover of Snoop’s patented corn rows look for an urban refresh line of My Little Pony Got Booty Dolls.

Hasbro really bought Death Row Records after merging with Mattel. The new CEO of Hasbro is a closeted Trumpian. His mission statement for the company is F the PC Police. He offered Kayne West the job as Creative Play Officer.

Now that Hasbro is in bed with Death Row Records. Will Old English pay for product placement ads in Barbie The Rap Video Ho Star for Netflix?

I still can’t believe Hasbro just bought Death Row Records. How did the CEO of Hasbro spin this acquisition to his Board of Directors exactly again? Lincoln Logs are racist. Now we’re calling them Obama Logs. Trumpian board member replies. But Obama grew up under a tent village, studying the Koran in Kenya.

Hasbro really bought Death Row Records after merging with Mattel, who makes Barbie. Smart PR move, Hasbro, knowing Snoop’s brain hovers a notch below porn hood hell.

Michael Kornbluth

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