Melting Pots Of Diversity

Casseroles don’t have to be 100% American made. Although, adding mayo, a Paula Dean tip for added moisture works wonders. What’s Paula Dean’s new clothing line called, Plantation Nation?

God didn’t command, use Campbell’s cream of mushroom for family friendly casseroles only. Just like he never commanded us to bolster Obama’s resume for him. Make Michelle proud again and use an organic cream of mushroom brand instead.

Casseroles need more American cheesiness than you think. Understand, I’m not talking about Tim Allen, woman don’t appeal to me because they don’t know their way around a power tool the way I do. Shred your own blocks of Cabot cheese, alright.

Don’t half ass a Casserole or let your wife try to replicate your kitchen tested gooey dish of yummy dance sparking perfection. Or else, you’ll hate yourself for handing over your kid’s happiness to mama because expectations are the root of misery.

Casseroles shouldn’t be used for a mere frozen broccoli plop. Boil fresh Broccoli before blanching the bushy heads. Tell your kids Blanching is an ice bubble for Broccoli. It extracts the yuck, symbolizing mo money making good luck.

Use rigatoni over Penne for your cheesy casserole. It’s not a dish to count your calories for. And Penne is like anorexic rigatoni. It fails to deliver any semblance of big deal bite like any Nikki Glaser roast joke on Comedy Central.

Use meaty, sauteed pieces of Oyster Mushrooms in Maine made butter for your Asian American Casserole Drift. They’re more scrumptious tasting than Shiitake mushrooms and not as farm to table pricey woodsy as Chanterelle’s from France either.

So what makes my Asian American Casserole Drift a melting pot of diversity? Did Donna Reed use sauteed Oyster Mushrooms in her casserole? Before Martha Stewart became a lifestyle guru for single billionaire farmhouse fixer uppers in Bedford, NY.

Michael Kornbluth




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