Cooler Talk At Facebook

Cooler talk at Facebook today. Why didn’t we ban plastic water bottles at work ten years ago? Because the climate alarmist girl from Sweden is a superior do gooder than our Chinese sell out out boss, Good Will Hoodie.

INT. HOME

Do It All Dad

You want to fight climate change? Potty train your baby brother when you play teacher. Trump never changed his kids diaper. I wish I could make that claim. It would mean I had my shit together for a change.

Netflix canceled Chelsea Handler’s doc on White Privilege. Surveys show the world doesn’t care about Chelsea’s attempt to distract the world from her tits sagging popularity.

The Pope says he likes it when Americans attack him. Between signing off on parish transfer forms and ripping out No-Go Zone makeover tips in German Vogue found in his office waiting room before his interview with Rolling Stone.

Mercedes-Benz is in the electric scooter business now. In Germany, the scooter can hit getaway rape speed if Waze takes you through a no go zone neighborhood before rush hour.

INT. Local Farm

Older Chinese woman speak in Chinese, I think.

Do It All Dad

My daughter is 8. Now when she get’s out of the bubble, I tense, yelling, “Put a towel on, so the Chinese Underworld can’t look, for future places to store shipments of Fentanyl.”

INT. Local Farm

Older Chinese woman speak in Chinese, I think.

Do It All Dad

If I go broke trying to become a self-published comedian. I can always sell lockets of son’s golden curls for 5 grand a pop on Chinese Ebay. Don’t you think?

INT. Local Farm

Older Chinese woman speak in Chinese, I think.

Do It All Dad

Why did the Chinese supermarket in White Plains close down? Did ICE raid the place for smuggling in peanut oil flavored e cigarettes to push on the me so white market?

INT. Bookstore

A book titled When I Was White is on display.

Do It All Dad

When I was white? Sounds like a Justin Trudeau op ed for Salon, before beating Obama in game of one on one, despite never lacing up high tops before.

INT. Bookstore

A book titled When I Was White is on display.

Do It All Dad

When I was white? If this book is about Steven Tyler coming out out as the Little Richard of hard rock, I’m not interested.

INT. TOY STORE

Do It All Dad

Just one pink bouncy ball. I need to strengthen my palming hand because dunking a mini basketball in front of my kids this summer doesn’t count.

Owner

No it doesn’t.

Do It All Dad

Just like anyone can slam Dat Pham.

The main nerd in Silicon Valley from the Verizon commercials told Playboy magazine, “swinging”, saved his marriage. From what, permanent erectile dysfunction after the blue balls Mueller report?

The main nerd in Silicon Valley from the Verizon commercials told Playboy magazine, “swinging”, saved his marriage. Banging out code samples on Github to get into character didn’t.

The main nerd in Silicon Valley from the Verizon commercials told Playboy magazine, “swinging”, saved his marriage. His wife insists he wear the same Illuminati gang bang mask on at home to appear more leading man mysterious.

Show title ideas for my blueberry pancakes creation on my father son dish review show Better Than Boobie.

Crepe Pancakes You’d Roll One Up For

Upstaging Joe Pesci in Casino

Skinnier Pancake Tits

Griddle Pancakes Be Good.

Burn One Down by Ben Harper is amazing. It’s the most beautiful, hilarious défense for being a pothead ever. At 1st, I thought Ben Harper was freaking Wy Clef.

Not jealous about the first 15 minutes of Bill Burr’s Paper Tiger outside of learning he’s performing at Royal Albert Hall. Michelle Obama material was weak. He’s never been close to Bill Hick’s hitting class, sorry split screen comedy nerd commentators.

INT. BOOKSTORE

Book Store Lady

Don’t touch the books.

Do It All Dad

Pete The Cat could get the coodies from you Samuel, you pussy hound slut.

Why does the NY Times hate Trump so much? Because they still think half of America, consists of brainless, xenophobic hicks. Who’d rather see the Blue Collar Tour than see Collin Quinn off Broadway, playing the Irish Jackie Mason in a button down shirt.

INT. HOME

Son

I want to visit Japan for my birthday. So I can have Sushi for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Do It All Dad

You know what else tastes like sushi?

Funny Halloween flashback. Who are you for Halloween? Stan Smith from American Dad, CIA, Deep State, you know Swamp Thing. I wanted to dress the family in black face in honor of the Cleveland Show but Megyn Kelly stole our thunder.

Michael Kornbluth

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