All The Sensitive Horses

INT. CARTOON NETWORK OFFICE

Executive

Tell me about your animated TV show, All The Sensitive Horses.

Do It All Dad

It’s about an Equestrian sensitivity rehab center for Trump Derangement Syndrome. Treating patients who project crazy hate at family members who support Trump.

INT. HOME

Wife

You’re too sensitive for stand-up comedy.

Do It All Dad

Consider it sensitivity conversion therapy. Also, I know the audience aren’t friends or family to get angry at for living to derail my surging funny man MOJO on the rise.

INT. HOME

Wife

Your parents think you’re a socially isolated stay at home dad.

Do It All Dad

It’s not like I’m rejecting six figure jobs in Manhattan to blog more jokes for free. George Washington also said, “It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company.”

INT. HOME

Wife

Your brother and parents believe fatherhood has turned you into a socially isolated, mentally unhinged outcast.

Do It All Dad

And that was before I came out as pro Trump. They’re the crazy ones for thinking they’re perfect for never seeing the kids.

EXT. CAMPSITE-CT

Long Island Dude

You care too much.

Do It All Dad

About defending my honor, after my parents, wife, friends, and old work associates have done nothing but discourage me from making a living as a professional funny man to provide for my family? I agree, but if I won’t who will?

INT. CAR

Wife

What’s my role in your TV Pilot?

Do It All Dad

You threaten to kick me out of the house after raising our 3 kids at home, allowing you win a bunch Nurse Awards and earn respect and praise from all.

Wife

I like how this story is shaping up already.

INT. HOME

Wife

How can you expect to succeed when your parents and only brother think you’re a zero talent, delusional hack?

Do It All Dad

Prove to yourself you’re not and put together a 1 man show with a talking Palomino Horse as my Hindu trainer guide for it.

INT. Home

Daughter

I don’t know what to do.

Do It All Dad

We can prank call Uncle John. Pretend, you’re the ghost of his 4th aborted baby, next time he tunes into Real Time with Bill Maher in real time.

INT. HOME

Son

Daddy, why didn’t you audition at the Apollo? Was that just an excuse to leave Baba’s house early?

Do It All Dad

I had 2 books to organize and the house to myself kid. And the waiting at the Apollo was killing me because I’m used to immediate feedback on Twitter and WordPress. Next year I’ll do it. I promise.

INT. BEDROOM

2 Year Old Boy

Love you Dada.

Wife

Aw, did you say you love Dada?

Do It All Dad

We’ve been inseparable for 2 plus years. Plus, funnier dad, happier baby. The shortest distance between 2 people is laughter, Victor Borge. Forget about it.

Michael Kornbluth

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