Dreamboat Nanny Wish List

A new book states Obama doesn’t want to endorse Biden because Oprah doesn’t care for creative non fiction Chinese Spy Novels for her club.

Impeachment is worth losing the House over Denture Breath Pelosi? Like you were keeping the House without your non-dreaded impeachment inquiry. 250 days in and all the House Democrats have done is give Hunter heart palpitations on bad coke.

President Pelosi could happen Washington Post? While we’re lost on fantasy island. Let’s print Mike Pence get’s crucified for calling his wife prettier than Stormy Daniels in his eyes.

AOC meeting Bernie at a Vermont Diner.

Bernie

The Reuben here is supurb.

AOC

18 dollars for a Reuben in Vermont?

Waitress

Bernie hasn’t paid off your off student loans yet in exchange for your endorsement for President AOC? My husband works for ICE, you demonizing bitch.

AOC meeting Bernie at a Vermont Diner.

AOC

Why is the Seth Rich murder the only unsolved murder in DC history Uncle Bernie?

Uncle Bernie

Have you seen my Lake House on Lake Champagne yet?

Trump is obsessed with Hillary Hamertime Cankles because he’s an illegitimate president? No you lost because you’re an unhuggable cunt. 2 time loser baby boomer moms don’t know best.

Director Joss Whedon wants Trump banned from Twitter in the interests of national security. What does his mental sanity have to do with US national security? Write a Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie to screen at Allan Ball’s boy toy pad and shut up.

A ninth woman accused Al Franken of groping her. Franken should’ve stayed on at SNL and stuck to rubbing up against fatties during rush hour on the F Line to 30 Rock.

INT. CAR

Daughter

Only beer?

Do It All Dad

Oktoberfest by Sierra Nevada to be exact. Beer Advocate describes the beer as possessing kisses of dark chocolate if that makes you feeling any better about mom and dad’s desert.

Good Will Hoodie declaring war against Elizabeth Warren.
Facebook is too big, cry me a river Warren. You think Twitter is going to swing votes in your favor? Trump pays the highest per click rate for Indian Casinos to appear every time somebody googles Warren.

We got 30,000 contracted content moderators at Facebook to monitor Diamond and Silk for anymore election interference finger waiving bullshit.

INT. HOME

Do It All Dad

Tell me about your dream nanny.

Daughter

She can teach me how to make brownies.

Do It All Dad

Unlike Baba who blows you off with, “I’ll teach you later dear. I must act busy in the kitchen to justify my absentee existence in your life . ”

Impeachment process was too slow for John Wilkes Boothe SNL? Too bad Pete Davidson can’t train any ANTIFA thugs in a pink hoodie like a Navy Seal. Lorne Michaels hates how much funnier Trump is. Sandler and Norm are the best things on SNL ever.

Impeachment process was too slow for John Wilkes Boothe SNL? Johnny Depp is channeling his inner Hunter S Thompson in the form of freelance joke submissions for SNL now? Nixon accelerated our war in Vietnam, Trump ordered the destruction of ISIS Burton play toy.
In NYC you can be fined 250 K for asking an illegal alien if he can speak English. But Twitter thinks it’s Kosher to pose the question #HowDoMexicansTalk ? Like George Lopez but less Catskills comic Jewy in the process.

Situation: Cashier at the Pizza place making my son uncomfortable.

Pizza Man

You got ants in your pants kid?

Do It All Dad

Maybe, my son identifies with an apprehensive, second guessing Gerbilist.

Biden campaign officials demanding the media censor Giuliani.

Rudy has a casual relationship with the truth at best. Comparing Hunter Biden to Don Junior isn’t fair. Hunter isn’t considered to be threatening enough to be censored on Instagram.

Biden campaign officials demanding the media censor Giuliani again.

Something didn’t happen, alright.

Michael Kornbluth

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