Pitchfork named Alright by Kendrick Lamar, song of the decade. His song Damn wins the Pulitzer for music because Obama got the Nobel for relegating ISIS to ISIL. So they’d sound more start up friendly in Wired magazine.
Who told Samuel L Jackson it was cool to dress like Spike Lee’s grandmother? Who identifies as a jazz critic descendent of Sonny Rollins in Tyler Perry’s new film, The Uppity Cunt.
Hillary might run for President again in 2020?
What’s going to be her campaign slogan?
Vampires Don’t Need Stents
I Eat Fake News Indians for Breakfast
Chelsea Isn’t Ugly Anymore
Seth Rich Knows Whose Boss
Deplorable Boomer Mom Knows Best
Ukraine gave more money to the Clinton foundation than any other country on earth. All of a sudden Hillary’s got Kielbasa fever? Under her asexual druid robes from the remake of Dune, Attack Of The Sand Worms In My Drawer.
Trump ordered the take down of ISIS. Obama urged Putin to tell ISIS to cut it out. Now, Turkey doesn’t fuck around, so what’s wrong with them dealing with ISIS in Syria? Oh yeah, Ben Shapiro is a Kurdish loyalist now and Lindsey Graham’s on the rag.
Ellen Barkin thinks Trump supporters are dumb? You relied on writer’s words and Ron Perelman’s shampoo fortune for your paid off town house in the West Village babe. You got knocked up in a Barry Levinson film and smoked a cigar like a dude in Switch, yay.
Turkey is what you eat to look better in Calvin Klein briefs. Not because you crave to become a protéin pez inhaler like Ryan Reynolds. Dreaming ahead of inhaling more sumptuous slivers of Blake Lively in your Bedford stud farm between films again.
Baby, you have my flat feet.
Do It All Dad
Thank God my DNA helped smooth out Baba’s bumpy bunion side. His perfect, inhaleable feet show no Ukrainian Troll traceage in sight. But Trump’s a wicked troll for exposing Lyin Biden.
The Good Men Project could get sued if they printed this made up dialogue exchange bound for glory.
Thank God she lost.
America will be alright after all.