Good Luck Guru

INT. HOME

Do It All Dad

The Bible says seeking out the counsel of medium’s, even it’s a talking Palomino Horse is forbidden.

Daughter

What if we just write off the counsel as you being a crazed schizophrenic? Who hears me crying even if I’m not anyway.

 

INT. HOME

Do It All Dad

The Hindus say our fates our determined by Karma.

Daughter

Well God, gave you an endless blanket of love in the form of me, Arthur and Samuel. Who adore you more every day. Does that mean you’re straight shooter with purpose?

 

INT. HOME

Do It All Dad

Shudras are servants in India. Chances are, I was a stay at home dad bitch in the past lifetime until I made the decision to earn my freedom.

Daughter

By doing stand up comedy for free at towny bars in Westchester County?

INT. HOME

Daughter

What are castes Dada?

Do It All Dad

From upper middle, to lower deplorable is a chapter in my book, which explains what happens when you come out as pro Trumpian in Hillary Hammer Time Cankles country.

INT. HOME

Do It All Dad

Vaishyas are merchants in India.

Daughter

So you’ve got bad karma to root out, if you’re stuck working as an IT recruiter into your forties, exploiting indentured H1-B workers for all their worth?

INT. HOME

Do It All Dad

Brahmans in India are teachers and priests. They’re less touchy feely Church types. They also don’t insist on possessing absolute sin absolution power either.

Daughter

Who does these priests think they are? They’re not God.

INT. HOME

Do It All Dad

The Hindu God Vishnu embodies righteousness.

Daughter

Let me guess, ANTIFA calls him a fascist racist because he follows President Trump on Twitter.

 

INT. HOME

Do It All Dad

The Hindu God Shiva embodies power.

Daughter

Do you think he does box jumps also? Or is he just genetically jacked that way?

Do It All Dad

I think yoga out of the womb made his core super strong long time.

INT. HOME

Do It All Dad

Hindus believe in a universal God who takes on many forms.

Daughter

Like in a Palomino Horse. They’re so pretty. Would you ever divorce mama for talking Palomino horse if it was pretty enough? Would mama let you out on dates?

Do It All Dad

I shouldn’t have made out with your stuffed animal Pineapple Pretty to show off my playful, young at heart depraved side after all.

Michael Kornbluth

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