Impeachment Mothership Bitches

Jeff Zucker showing off CNN’s new 2 billion dollar headquarters. I don’t look like a self-hating Jew today, do I made up Trump supporters at 50 thousand stadium rally capacities? Airport license agreements pay for our impeachment mother ship bitches.

The Irishman is like Expendables 3. I can’t bring myself to see it, despite my extreme love for Marty and Sly. Obama ruined Marty films also. The fact he woke up Nikki Sixx’s snowflake side taints my age of innocence all the way down the line.

Thanksgiving at the Obama’s this year.

Obama

Malia, you barely touched your Tofurky.

Malia

Why did you let me intern at Miramax again?

Obama

Michelle was your chaperone. And that fat Jew couldn’t pin her down if he tried.

 

Downplaying a rat sighting in our house to calm down my 8 year old daughter. It was a tiny mouse. Mouses are like loner rats. But in China, they keep them as pets.

Erdogan threw Trump’s Syria letter in the trash. He’s got a bounty on Enes Kantor’s head for talking shit about him. So no offense, I never confused Erdogan as the recycling kind. I didn’t expect him to send an Edible Arrangements basket to Trump either.

Mayor Pete has raised more money than Biden. He also passed the gay test because he’s not bending over backwards to kiss Michele Obama’s ass either. Insisting, “my husband is gayer 1st lady material. 1st ladies shouldn’t scowl for a living alright.

Jim Carey paints scary pictures of the Trump team to cope with his pain inflicted on him by President Trump beating Huma Licker breath. Let me guess, Carey blames Benghazi or Iran’s failed nuke building time out on reruns of the Apprentice on Al Jazeera.

 

The Irishman beats Taxi Driver as Scorsese’s best reviewed film of all time. Meanwhile, Rotten Tomatoes rates Taxi Driver higher than Goodfella’s and Casino. But I’m sure Dinero playing another fake news deep tough guy has nothing to do with it’s praise.

 

The CEO of Salesforce on breaking up Facebook. They don’t censor Trump supporters enough on it. Instant Messenger is a pedo’s best friend. Only Salesforce get’s to sell decision maker contact information for a living.

My mom’s passive aggressive relationship with me is limited to texts about harsh weather conditions back east compared to Arizona during the fall. Did any trees fall down? I hear the winds were ferocious. Our cactus trees barely broke a sweat over it.

INT. HOME

Do It All Dad

I’m not achieving moral excellence any time soon but this last piece of mozz should help.

Wife laughs.

Do It All Dad

Aristotle I fucked him, oh.

Wife

You ruin everything.

 

Michael Kornbluth

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s