Punks Make Great Roasters

Punk is giving the finger to conformity.

Al Sharpton insists Trump is more punk than fighter. But only punks like Green Day and Trump can sell out 25 thousand capacity stadiums. Kayne wrote Jesus Walks, Green Day wrote Jesus of Suburbia, your mouth just runs checks it can’t cash Rev Rerun.

Shaq defending free speech on TNT. Free speech makes America great. If anybody should be defending free speech, it should be Charles. He makes a fortune espousing his professional opinions on whose best and he won jack shit Ernie. Dream Team doesn’t count.

Lebron James screamed walk off the court during the national anthem before tip off against the Clippers. Billy Crystal yells, “I don’t play for you Lebron. But your anti-American stance on freedom of speech is playing marvelous marvelous.”

At the same time, Lebron, king of the persecution complex is thinking, “I hope Bill Simmons writes a thought piece about me saving the NBA’s white supremacy resistance.”

Trump clarifying his political lynching comment. I meant due process means less to Democrats today, than Obama’s dwindling self worth. Giving Obama credit for this economy is like giving Nino Brown props for getting Pookie off crack and welfare.

Situation: Reading Stars Wars I Am A Droid book to my son. Probe droids are spies. The NY Times claim probe droids exist to ensure fair play knowing Trump is an excessive riffer and goes off script at rallies because Ron White lives in Beverly Hills.

Rashida Tlaib will be joining Bernie Sanders at his Detroit Rally. I remember reading about a prom in Detroit for Muslim girls only. So the prom was like mine, pork free. After, I cried under my sheets from dusk till dawn.

Katie Hill, head of the House oversight committee denied affairs with multiple staffers, despite steamy texts and apparent compromising pictures. Katie tells Nancy Pelosi, “So I took a pic brushing my staffer’s hair. Only Hillary can munch her way to the top.”

Disney CEO, Bob Iger’s response to Marty dumping on action film franchises ruining the art of cinema.

Are you telling me Black Panther is a lesser film because Marty didn’t make it with that dumb mook Dinero? Now whose the fake news deep elitist?

Bernie Sanders defending his all white rally outside the Queensbridge projects. Nas won’t return my phone calls. World Peace has gone off the reservation when I needed him the most. AOC has more street cred in suburbia because she’s from Yorktown Heights. Black mothers have 5 jobs to be at in a post Trumpian economy. Queens compared to Manhattan and Brooklyn, is the sloppy third Kardashian sister. The extra greasy one, whose easy to pound at 3 in the morning like a lamb gyro in Astoria.

INT. Barbershop

Baby boys points at the NY Post cover with a porn star on it, touring NYPD headquarters.

Do It All Dad

Too bad stop and frisk isn’t coming back anytime soon. You thought the NYPD hated De Blasio for tying their hands up before.

My kids have assigned seats on the bus now. Where have you gone Jenny from Forrest Gump? Arranged seating on the bus. Are my kids pledging allegiance to the Indian castes now? It’s bad enough developers have to sit with sales for shared Taco Tuesday’s.

Enough with the humanization campaign of Mark Zuckberg. Zit Face Zuck is aware he comes off as robotic, it’s about fucking time. Fuck you Good Will Hoodie’s, personalized enablers. Enable ANTIFA but brand all pro Trumpian talk as hate speech about Obama.

INT. HOME

Son

Daddy, I beat Miles during Chess club all the time.

Do It All Dad

Chances are, he’ll contest your jumpers in a game of pick up ball with a name like Miles. Getting up in your face, proclaiming, “I ain’t no white man’s pawn, your move bitch.”

Giraldo’s death still saddens me. I wrote a Louie spec in honor of always the scariest Elephant in the room Patrice O’ Neal. Nick Di Paolo loved it. Can’t believe I never wrote a TV spec or pilot without Giraldo’s voice in mind. His New Yorker charmish delivery was the best.

It’s insult to call Greg Giraldo a great roaster. He worked his ass of to become a great comedian. So being hailed as a great roaster means he was great at the job of performing his own smart, funny jokes for a living. He wasn’t Bill Hicks deep either.

It’s insult to call Greg Giraldo a great roaster. No it isn’t. True standup is a punchline sprint, not a meandering, act out with your hands with no hard punchlines in sight like Dane Cook for the past 15 years and counting. Greg Giraldo was Tommy Hearns.

It’s an insult to call Giraldo a great roaster? Since when is it an insult to call anyone great at anything? It doesn’t depreciate his jokes on his son being a half a tard and how dong E when you get older to learn this fact, comes in more handy. Giraldo lives.

Michael Kornbluth

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