Rants of a Hungry Heart

Best compliment I received today. Your rants are like candy.

Pence ripping the NBA. Lebron James isn’t a man of the people or God, commie controlled, fake news hate crime reporting, uneducated, resister Twitter twat Philistine is more like it. Does he bless his wine before giving it to his Hillary siding son?

Bette Midler praising the neighbor who attacked Rand Paul. You’re the wind beneath my gremlin wings, when ANTIFA isn’t rumbling against the Proud Boys in Manhattan, who go to jail because they look more like menacing Paul Bunyan types than vegan hoodies.

A Florida man was arrested after pulling a machete on woman who refused to date him. Now, that’s an MS 13 love doctor in the making.

A Florida man was arrested after pulling a machete on a woman who refused to date him. Were they embarking on a romantic stroll through the rain forest prior, like in Romancing the Stone? I don’t get it.

The headline Bob Weir shredded at 72, makes me want to throw more than stones. Good to know Weir has time to meditate, cross fit, and do 3 hour Dead & Company shows with John Mayer when I can’t even catch a Roy Cohen doc in the burbs without it selling out for the 5pm Saturday show.

Mayor Pete admitting to smoking pot. It helped loosen me up before I got inhaled by the Hoosier mascot on the back of a 98 Ford Explorer. Bob Seger thought his abs were hard as rocks.

63% of GOP voters think the party should be more like Trump and less like Mitt Romney’s fake news magical knickers.

INT. Home

Do It All Dad

You can’t call Daddy, a racist, deplorable Trump supporter when I get you a black fairy Barbie Matilda. Not that she needs any added high flying hopping ability.

Whoopie being triggered by plant based burgers on the View. I’m not telling Vegans to cut out eating pea protein because it makes them more hysterical than Ted Danson when we used to make love with the lights on, no amount of dark face could conceal.

Return of the Jedi is the best Star Wars. Luke learns about sucking face with his sister. Yoda and Darth die in it, which is like Apollo and Mick dying in the same movie. Yoda’s still busts Luke’s balls about never finishing his training. Jabba bites the dust.

Eminem being interviewed by the Secret Service. You don’t really think Melania would sleep with an albino wigger, past his prime, do you? Also, Trump lifted the ban on Jewish membership at Mar A Lago Slim on Facts Shady. What do Dre’s nutz taste like, Chronic dipped in Cognac?

A Florida man was accused of giving beer to an Alligator. He gave the Florida Gator a spare Coors Light that’s lightweight and easy to pound like any yentabreath from Long Island on Spring Break. They should make toothpaste taste like Coors Light, so I don’t taste anything afterwards.

Michael Kornbluth

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s