Generous Pours Of Love

Australia just proposed a facial recognition requirement to view Internet Porn. Now, that’s a boner killer mate.

Abu Baghdadid was a religious scholar Washington Post? And Judd Apatow is the Chief Happiness Officer for Brietbart.

Biden on being refused communion. I cling to my Planned Parenthood base too much, alright.

Elizabeth Warren on John Legend’s endorsement. I’m grateful down to my 1 percent Moccasin toes. Does Trump nation feel my mojo risin yet?

Raging fires engulfing my dear old Southern California kills me. Still, it’s annoying to hear from an old LA bud, whose house is fine, how Kawhi is a God. Because he was a Lakers fan also, before the Clippers got the black Archie who could jump over Kia’s

Kayne dropping more truth bombs again.

The Democrats pushed abortion and welfare on the black community. Does Jim Brown appear like the dependent type to take orders from Jimmy Cracker Corn? You think Nancy Pelosi wants more of my divine spark?

Dinero fears Trump will ruin America. For who, besides resistor pedo protecting twats like yourself Bobby? When Trump wins by a patriot made landslide in 2020, further exposing your fake news funny tough persona, you dumb, jealous, creepy mook.

RJ Barrett is the new Carmelo Anthony? But he’s not the spokesperson for Tampax Tampons. What, name another number one pick bust, responsible for stopping so much flowage.

Three Mexican nationals ran a meth lab near an Atlanta elementary school. How else do you expect to get Braves fans into the chopping chant with such cranked up commitment, despite the mind numbing motion of it all.

Killing the leader of ISIS makes it easier for them to recruit? Why, because he signed a non-compete with Al-Qaeda? But now all bets are off?

Killing the leader of ISIS makes it easier for them to recruit. You’d think ISIS was struggling to find the cookie cutter candidate prior. Must have skills, include beheading on camera without getting squeamish around infidels.

Killing Islamic terrorists doesn’t make it easier for them to recruit. Their digital marketing plan is still the same. Target other lonely, brooding virgins in their upper 20’s on Facebook, who wish their phones blew up.

Killing Islamic terrorists doesn’t make it easier for ISIS to recruit new blood. It just creates a new job opening, to be filled by another whimpering, innocent murdering, terror obsessed demon to shit the cave when Delta force strikes again.

How does killing the leader of ISIS makes it easier for them to recruit? Doesn’t the Recruiting Manager for ISIS get stoned to death if he doesn’t hit his new recruit quota regardless?

INT. HOME

Wife

I never told Arthur to shut up.

Do It All Dad

If you haven’t, it’s because you were mentally checked out already and done with parenting our 3 children for the evening, prematurely again.

INT. HOME

Judd Apatow

I feel less safe now that the head of ISIS is killed.

Wife

Gary Shandling didn’t make the world any safer either babe. Also, it’s not a good look when you’re expressing your rage at the US for killing a real life Hitler.

 

Likes on Facebook for new baby announcement pics are nice. But what makes a dad feel extra special is a sumptuous, American made Bourbon with balls. Assuming, he pours himself a generous pour of love in a paper cup without his wife’s permission 1st.

 

Michael Kornbluth

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