Jackass of Islam

The Mayor of London is considering decriminalizing cannabis to cut crime. I’m sure Mustafa will chill on the acid attacks if he could be allowed to puff the hashish pipe 6 times a day on the West End next time he wants to assimilate with Sam Mendes fans.

Neil Young left his wife of 35 years for Daryl Hannah. Because he’s going through a dying of the light, never banged a mermaid crisis. Drilling for fracking isn’t his cup of tea. When he gives her facials, he calls it acid rain.

There’s actually a soundtrack for 13 Reasons Why on Vinyl. If you play it backwards, it says, “Sell your soul to Apple and the Chinese like Trent Rezner. He doesn’t sound so suicidal anymore these days, does he?”

I’m not joking. There’s actually a soundtrack for 13 Reasons Why on Vinyl. If you play it backwards, it says, “Trump is wrong, suicide is for winners like Hunter S. Thompson who don’t believe in pleasing God like Tim Tebow.”

I’m serious. If you play the record 13 Reasons Why backwards it also says, “Joker is laughing all the way to the bank”, “At least your dad never cut off your wedding speech at your younger brother’s wedding, three grandchildren blessed later.” Or, “At least your coke head younger brother doesn’t call you a loser after you write for TV twice, write 2 books and produce 3 fuss free kids.”

Who can trust Trump’s America Economist? The stock market, the electoral college, MAGA Hat Vendors at Trump rallies, sending their kids through college already.

INT. BARNES & NOBLE

Do It All Dad

Do parents ask you for books about eco-anxiety?

Worker laughs.

Worker

I met a 10 year old girl scared of the rain.

Do It All Dad

If kids were reared on Andrew Dice Clay records, they wouldn’t be so temperamental.

Barnes and Noble worker laughs long time.

Aaron Sorkin says Zuckerberg is “assaulting truth” by allowing political ads to appear on his website. Wah, wah, wah Sorkin’s crying. Because Martin Sheen isn’t a better president than Trump in real life. And Jeff Daniels isn’t even Tucker Carlson.

Signs times are changing.

Mama says. The Washington Post called the leader of ISIS, a religious scholar. NPR would’ve called him a burnout hashish head, suffering from Trump in charge now anxiety max.
How would I sum up manhood in the age of #MeToo Harper’s Magazine? You can look, actually stop eye fucking me to death with your eyes. Only stare at me with VR Goggles, because I know your eyes are occupied with artificial objectification.

How would President Pence lead Newsweek? I’d say, issue an executive exorcism but you don’t believe in God or have a soul left to save. But Pelosi’s district in San Francisco is progressive paradise ushering in a new poop hopscotch rush as we speak.

Everything you need to ace American History in one big fat notebook today. Let me guess, Indians didn’t torture, rape or scalp infidels until ISIS showed them on YouTube how the big boys on the varsity squad got it done.

Facebook allowing “Make America Great Again” ads got Trump elected? I thought it was because 63 million branded racists didn’t want their children to grow up in Obama’s America where ISIS went viral and GDP growth was slower than Joe Biden after a lobotomy.

Sheryl Sandberg on political ads with Katie Couric.

It’s 2019 Katie, nobody is influenced to vote from political ads on Facebook. Blog posts, which are pro Trumpian are coded as hate speech as way to discourage fact dissemination.

Sheryl Sandberg on political ads with Katie Couric again.

Political ads only represent 1 percent of our revenue.

Couric replies.

Fine, care to comment on how digital currency hides pedo trails on the dark web with greater efficiency bitch?

Sheryl Sandberg on political ads with Katie Couric again.

We don’t fact check Political ads. We just make it uncomfortable for paid off Trump supporter actors to defend their integrity. Baby Boomers hate how much the Trump kids have their shit together.

Sheryl Sandberg on political ads with Katie Couric one last time.

We don’t think the Russian are interfering with our elections. We do think Diamond and Silk are too southern sassy sharp, for Tom Arnold to handle in a sparring of wits, has been resistor lesbian.

Bill Maher interviewing Ronan Farrow.

With Harvey Weinstein still free, Cos still claiming innocence, do you feel all the awards showered on you will be relegated as mere participation trophies within the annals of history?

Signs the times really are changing.

Mama says.

The Washington Post called the leader of ISIS, a religious scholar? Even NPR called him too extreme for Al-Qaeda.

Do It All Dad replies.

They should’ve called him the Jackass Of Islam then.

Michael Kornbluth

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s