Steven Tyler unloading on a fan for sitting at a show. I know you can’t afford a million dollar a day cocaine habit, but Live On The Edge a little bit bitch.
How much did Lennon hate McCartney for shaming him into becoming a stay at home dad, for his 2nd kid Sean after the release of Hey Jude? 2 weeks into his stroller ride routine through Central Park, Lennon yells, “Choke on a fucking cucumber scone Paul.”
Eric Clapton on John Lennon asking him to join the Beatles. “I was flattered kind of, but, my 1st question was, “Do you really hate George that much? So he wrote My Guitar Gently Weeps, get over it already mate. Or you’re worse than pussy willow Paul.”
British royals threatening ABC News. If you run the Prince Andrew, Epstein, why can’t we remain friends story, will cancel your interview with Prince William and Kate Middleton. And he’s the only tie left to Diana Americans give 2 shits about.
INT. COMEDY CLUB-LONDON
Do It All Dad
I get confused for Hugh Grant on stilts because I only cruise for bearded black hookers at the circus.
University of Minnesota Students can’t name a single Democratic accomplishment. Outside of making MS 13, ISIS and radical jihadists in US Congress as the new face of the Democratic Party. Also, they made clear due process is off the list.
The NY Times stock falls as ad revenue shrank. You mean ads for ANTIFA Halloween costumes, ISIS religious scholars 101 workshops at the 92nd Y and Planned Parenthood toxic masculinity blockers aren’t keeping the paper of record in the black?
You can’t name the name of the Whistle Blower? You’ll endanger his life. Why, is ANTIFA playing for the other side now? After forsaking the dark side from repeat viewings of Jedi. I don’t get it.
Kimmel on the new Don Junior book. He attacks Mueller, Bush, the liberal media. Basically, all our fake news heroes suffering from delusions of grandeur. Sorry people, I haven’t felt this dejected since Sarah Silverman’s snatch started to smell like cat nip.
Mom asks, “Is Arthur still enjoying his chess class?” I reply, “Yes, Samuel is still enjoying his chess class. Just like President Trump he isn’t tired of winning yet.” Now, I’m out of the will for certain but it was worth it.
Buckingham Palace threatening ABC over spotlighting Prince Andrew’s ties to Epstein. Prince Andrew is a clean cut lad. It’s not like the time when we had to take out Diana because because she couldn’t control her Kabob fever.
Will Hillary run? She can’t even power walk to the Late Show with Colbert without her bladder breaking. Why else do you think she shows her fat ass in public, with those asexual built in diaper ready, druid burkas from Dune?
A tree fell on a trick or treater in Westchester County. Where was pops, blocking the tree like a line drive foul ball at Citi Field? Talk about dropping the ball. Was pops dressed as Bill Buckner for Halloween or what?