I Can’t Get Enough Of Social Distancing

Religious fanatics on the right and coast atheist coastal elitists all and suck and ruin dinner parties for everybody. But nobody highlights this undeniable positive result of social distancing. New Chelsea Handler tit pics don’t count.

 

No more Indian woman on the cover of Land O’ Lakes. How much can you scalp a Land O’ Lakes carton of butter in my parents fridge from 86? I have a bookie friend who used to sell peyote to Craig Carton, who’d like to know.

Just when I think my wife is beyond annoying lately, my younger brother’s wife got her beat. Her take on GI Joe action figures. They’re so nationalistic. My parents were pacifists. So they don’t consider ANTIFA Punisher wannabes as forces of good?

Religious fanatics on the right and coast atheist coastal elitists all and suck and ruin dinner parties for everybody. But nobody highlights this undeniable positive result of social distancing. New Chelsea Handler tit pics don’t count.

 

I’m regretting hiring my younger brother’s wife to teach my kids since the #coronavirus hit. I don’t care I finished my Great American Jew Novel already. I have to endure, so what else are you doing for your birthday besides getting your kids gifts?

Brother’s Tutor wife driving me crazy again. Bush is the reason why you never hear about trade schools in high school. Yeah, I don’t recall Obama sucking off Joe the Plumber either.

It’s only been 1 month for those working from home yet they couldn’t be more restless. Are your kids that much more horrible than you are? Is that Trump’s fault to?

 

My son’s Kindergarten video teacher conference taking an ugly dark turn.  Do you have anything to share Arthur? My dad hates Disney because they own ABC and did everything in their power to discredit #Pizzagate. You should’ve backed off bitch.

#RIPHowardFinkel He was a permanent fixture of my youth and heir apparent to Mean Gene, minus the whiskey marinated voice. What a storied, action packed career, who had been everywhere man. Sleep tight maestro of the play by play mike.

Give a birthday card or shut the fuck up. So you’re just getting your kids a bunch of gifts for your birthday? I gave myself the month of April to write the Great American Jew Novel to shame my Eucharist for pushing in-laws on my kids, which is big.

Michael Kornbluth

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