How can I not believe in Climate Change? Because Al Gore’s speaking career has cooled considerably.
Daughter says, “But fracking is bad daddy. I say, “But it’s a clean energy source and fracking reduces our Co2 emissions. Daughter says, “So Neil Young is full of shit now?”
Fracking is bad. Doritos and 2 liters of Mountain Dew will make up for the low birthweights in our country in no time.
Aries, the God of War, wore his body armor for protection, even if the woodland nymph insisted she could make his HIV disappear like Magic Johnson.
Zeus called Aries the worst and most hateful of his children, but I’m not the one who suffers from Trump Derangement syndrome, which throws the entire astrological chart into question.
Obama pretending to care about the rule of law is like Trump swearing he’s allergic to high end trim.
Baby Boomer arrogance never dies. Just because they did Acid once and never jumped off a building in college, they think they can fly back east to visit their 3 grandchildren this summer because social distancing rules only apply to Salon owners who wouldn’t fuck Andrew Cuomo with Michelle Obama’s dick. Joan lives.
Trump’s handling of the Coronavirus. De-Blasio told millions of New Yorkers to ride the subways because a man made virus made in China is color blind.
I like the Christian Right now because they trigger my wife. Wife says, “All those protestors who want the economy open don’t believe in vaccines.” I say, “But you believe Carole Baskin killed her husband, so your share more in common than you think babe. Plus, all of Obama’s deep state puppets who orchestrated the illegal spy campaign against Trump are no longer immune from criminal prosecution since the DOJ ruled General Flynn was framed because he disapproved with Obama’s 150 billon dollar care package to Iran to make their economy less reliant on the sale of hair removal products for the Kardashians.
I’m sick of terms like community and socialization. Either you have friends or family members you miss hanging out with or not. If they never bookmarked your blog in the past, chances are mom isn’t going to care for your opinion about whether she should postpone her trip back east this summer to visit her 3 grandchildren, knowing she’s accustomed to spending most of it indoors in Arizona until late August anyway.
If your dad only mentions future events involving his grandchildren as stuff to look forward to, chances are he’s given up on you rubbing your elusive, long lasting success in his face eventually.
Has Obama posted any stoned looking videos, mumbling like a fake news deep bi-racial Bob Marely about making an Exodus to Kenya to jam in the name of Allah? Don’t shoot the messenger, aim your hate mail at Random House books for listing Kenya as his place of birth in his bio in Dreams of My Father.
The only thing CNN cares about is keeping the heat off their Chinese masters and promoting Virus death toll numbers to boost their anemic ratings and inflated, corrupted sense of self-worth.
Michael Rappaport still talks like he’s auditioning for Wigger Number 3 in the Jump Around Video.
I wish physical suffering on any actor or rocker, who wishes certain leaders get the Coronavirus just because they lie about not really meaning it like they’re suffering from Trump, Derangement, Tourettes Syndrome.
I really wish the Republicans today had a cooler comedic leader than Steven Crowder, who thinks making fun of gay people is the height of hilarity because their persona clashes with a man’s man, like Bubba because his daddy bought him a baseball team and he didn’t cross his legs in a F-16 or cry about painting maimed marines with PTS since he forced Colin Powell to sell any shell of integrity he once possessed.
I’m so over giving a shit about any stoner, druggie comic on the Joe Rogan Podcast. You do mushrooms and communicate with Aliens and make medicinal weed jokes, yay. But still think you’re more advanced than the current president whose never done a drug in his life, or care for Santana’s comment about his so called dark energy, because Trump doesn’t need to drop acid to see whose full of shit of Carlos, especially knowing Hillary Hammer Time Cankles is the best selling voodoo doll in Hatti, year after year. What was that killer premise again, Joe Rogan sucker off wannabe disciple? Deadheads only care about doing acid at shows and don’t care for the actual music because Dick Pick’s Volume 1 through 8000, just detail visuals and tracers dude? Smoke more weed Turtle, smoke more weed. Entourage lives.