Google Can’t Handle The Truth

Google CEO Sundar Pichai says, “Google faces intense competition all time.” But Yahoo isn’t the new gunslinger in town anymore and Bing can’t match Google’s bling. Fuck, even Ask Jeeves failed to get much search love during the remains of its day.

But seriously America, if Google doesn’t futz with search results because they were caught on a red mike stating, they’d do everything in their power to make sure Hillary Hammer Time Cankles part 2 never happened. Then why is harder to find positive mentions of still your President Trump on Google, than it is to find a film blogger on Rotten Tomatoes who called the Irishman, “Underrated?”

Being a journeyman IT agency recruiter, Google CEO Sundar Pichai sounds like the typical H1-B candidate I’d hang up on 2 seconds into the call after they’d call me about a Java Developer ad on After my second child was born and had to resume my IT headhunting career for Robert Half after scoring my TV writing break with Vh1 and Vh1 Classic prior that year, my father in law, whose a successful SAP consultant refers me a candidate who was an H1-B, so you know he cares about hooking up his son in law because this candidate required subtitles in order to be understood. I would’ve had an easier time penning a Bollywood musical than a making a placement fee on fake news Silicon Alley millionaire.

Michael Kornbluth


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