Funnier Dad, Happier Babies

Whenever I’m out with my 3 kids without mommy, older woman swoon, constantly commenting to me, “Your kids are so happy together.” My reply, “Funnier dad, happier babies. I’ll wreck you in a photo off boomer dad. My kids have more muscle memory to flex from. Sorry, about you still thinking you’re the superior parent within all spheres of life, because because baby boomer arrogance never dies.  At the same time, my 3 fuss free kids 98% of the time, are all glowing beneficiaries of the attachment parenting, which is turning your bed into the a 24/7 open milk bar for the foreseeable future. It’s the equivalent of planting seeds of self-esteem on steroids. So they’re not suffering from any major abandonment issues, for being another newborn who has cry it out in the crib upstairs, which is the only reason why our boomer parents bought 2 floor homes in yenta breath country in Long Island  because it makes the muffled cries of despair, easier to bear.”

 

Michael Kornbluth

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